


Catch these waves like before

by MercyBuckets



Series: Mercy's Shadowhunters AU Mondays [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Aftermath of Violence, Alec Lightwood & Maia Roberts Friendship, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Is Doing His Best, Alec Lightwood Would Do Anything For His Family, Alec Lightwood-centric, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Alec Lightwood, Anxiety, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Background Jocelyn Fairchild/Luke Garroway, Books are Important, Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Clave Bullshit, Conspiracy, Diplomacy, Downworlder Politics, Emotional Manipulation, Family Feels, Gen, Good Friend Lydia Branwell, Gretel Deserves Better, Grief Is Not Linear, Grief/Mourning, Handwaving, Healing, How Do I Tag, Hurt Alec, Imogen Herondale is the Worst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Infidelity, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Internalized Homophobia, Isabelle Lightwood Ships Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Izzy Lightwood is Not Straight, Jace Wayland is a Lightwood, Let Luke Garroway rest, Let Lydia Branwell sleep, Lightwood Siblings Feels, Loss of Parent(s), Lydia is a Good Friend, M/M, Magnus Bane Does Not Have Time For This Bullshit, Mind Games, Minor Original Character(s), Mundane Culture, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Political Alliances, Politics, Raj Is Good With Kids, Scheming, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrificing Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunter Culture, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Slow Burn, Someone get these kids a therapist, Valentine Morganstern's A+ Parenting, Valentine is also the Worst, Violence, Wakes & Funerals, communication is key
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2018-10-17 00:04:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercyBuckets/pseuds/MercyBuckets
Summary: Alec Lightwood is nineteen when it turns out that Valentine Morganstern isn’t dead. In fact, Valentine Morganstern is alive, well and hellbent on destroying everything Alec cares about. In less than 12 hours his entire life changes. His parents are dead, his parabatai is missing and every inch of his carefully planned future has crumbled to dust. Alec has no choice but to carry on. He will do anything to keep his family together but the process of healing is not easy and it just may take everything Alec has to give, and then some.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back with yet another WIP for Shadowhunters AU Monday. At least this one shouldn't end up as long as the others (if you're wondering I'm hoping to update Be My Mirror sometime this week if all goes well), fingers crossed.  
> This week's prompt was Single Parent AU and even though it's not super apparent in this chunk, the next bit has more Alec trying to parent his siblings.
> 
> Also note: for the purposes of this AU Alec is 19, Jace is 18, Izzy is 17 and Max is 6. 
> 
> Title is from the song 'Waves' by Dotan

Alec is in Idris when it happens and he never quite forgives himself for that. It’s his very first professional appearance before the Clave. As a junior aide to Arabella Townsend, Alec’s only job is to remain unnoticed, a task which he utterly fails when he collapses, screaming in pain in the middle of Patrick Penhallow’s speech. 

He wakes up in the infirmary in the New York Institute. Six-year-old Max is asleep on the bed next to him and Izzy is watching him through red-rimmed eyes. Something terrible has happened. He can feel it in the marrow of his bones. 

‘Izzy?’ he croaks.

‘They’re gone Alec. He killed them! Valentine killed them!’ says Izzy crying out-right. 

‘Who? Who did he kill?’ asks Alec, feeling ice cold. But he already knows. Max is here and Alec’s  _ parabatai _ rune still pulses with warmth, even if Jace is absent. 

‘Mom and Dad,’ whispers Izzy as if saying softly could undo it. 

Tears prickle in Alec’s eyes but he refuses to give in. Izzy needs him. He reaches for her and she scrambles onto the cot, mindful of the sleeping Max.

‘I’m still here,’ he whispers into her hair. He strokes her hair as she cries. ‘I’ll always be here.’

* * *

 

But there’s no time to properly mourn, no time for anything if Alec’s being honest. Raj comes to visit, bringing along Ava, a fifteen-year-old on the technician track and Eli, who studied biology with Izzy. Alec is confused until he realizes that his parents were far from the only casualties of the attack. This is everyone still left in the institute. 

‘Townsend is dead,’ says Raj. His eyes are dead but his voice has an edge to it. ‘Got herself poisoned by a Ravenor and up and died before she could do anything  _ helpful _ .’

‘Have some respect for the dead, Asshole,’ says Ava, her face red and blotchy. Her voice brittle, like the sound of glass hitting stone. 

Eli doesn’t say anything, just watches the proceedings through glazed, tear-filled eyes. 

Alec feels dizzy. It’s too much. Everything is too much but he needs to pull himself together. He can think of— of his parents. No. He is the oldest, the most senior and he needs to deal with the situation. He is a Shadowhunter, a soldier. He must keep marching on. 

‘What’s the status of our wards? How did he— How did Valentine get in?’ asked Alec forcing himself into the mindset of a leader. He cannot be a grieving son, not if he’s going to survive this. 

‘We don’t— no one—’ Ava stumbles. 

Alec holds up a hand to stop her before she gets any further. 

‘Wards are our first priority,’ he says. ‘Then I need reports, from everyone.’

He doesn’t ask about Jace. He doesn’t need to. He doesn’t know what Valentine could possibly want from his  _ parabatai _ but it can’t be good.

* * *

 

It’s both not as bad as he’d feared and impossibly worse. The wards are intact. There are no holes, no cracks, no weaknesses. Someone  _ let _ them in. 

Alec registers this betrayal with cold clarity. There is no room for anything else. Izzy doesn’t take it as well, punching through a monitor with a sound that echoes in the empty room. Max flinches away and Alec almost regrets keeping his little brother where he can see him. Almost, but not quite. 

Raj is the one who shows him the bodies, after Alec gets the full story out of them. How they had been training during the attack. How Hodge had locked them in from both sides. How they had been trapped while the battle raged on. Trapped until Arabella Townsend had unlocked the doors, with a semi-conscious Alec in tow, before collapsing herself, body too weak to fight off the poison. Their realization that everyone else was dead, that they were the only ones left. They’re all shaking with the remembrance of it, even Alec. After all that, Raj takes him to see the dead, hands still shaking. 

It’s bad. The Clave summit meant the institute was running on a skeleton crew, while they waited to be assigned new Shadowhunters, it’s still bad; every adult in the institute, slaughtered. Alec doesn’t want to picture the carnage if Valentine had attacked only a week earlier.

Raj and Izzy have turned Ops into a cold-room with runes on the walls. The bodies are covered with sheets, but many lie where they fell. 24 dead, counting Arabella Townsend, Alec tries not to think about how she had fixed his tie just this morning as he looks at her body. He can’t look at his parents. He makes it as far as touching the sheet covering their bodies before his composure threatens to shatter. Hot tears fight their way to the surface. But he  _ can’t _ — not before he has things under control. The only ones unaccounted for are Hodge and Jace. Alec can guess what has happened to his  _ parabatai _ , even if he can’t face it right now, but Hodge’s fate remains a mystery to him. 

They walk slowly back to the training room and Alec is careful to give Raj, who’s been rubbing red eyes with his still shaky hands, time to compose himself before they get there. Alec just feels numb. His mind is consumed with tangles of tactical information and he hates himself for wondering how fast they’ll be able to get the bodies out of ops. A leader does not have the luxury of emotional reactions. That was what his— No. He can’t go there right now. He needs to be a leader, to stay strong. He is the head of this institute until the Clave sends someone else, and he’ll be damned if they fall now. This is all he has left.

* * *

 

They do the Rite of Mourning two days later. Alec has to modify the ritual a bit to make work because the Clave still hasn’t sent anyone else. Idris is on lockdown because Valentine managed to breach the City of Bones and apparently stole the Soul Sword and the Clave is reeling. In fact, all Alec’s gotten from the them is a terse message saying that New York was not the only institute attacked and that he should ‘handle things’ until they send reinforcements. He tried to contact them to ask about relatives of the dead but eventually he’d had to put his people, his still living people, first. They need closure and this is the only way Alec knows. 

The bodies are laid out in a circle in the center of the training room, the only room large enough for their purposes, inside a ring of  _ fireproof _ runes. The Shadowhunters are standing around the circle, equidistant from each other except for Max who clings to Izzy as if she might disappear too. 

‘Let us say the names of the fallen,’ says Alec. His voice doesn’t shake and he hates himself a little bit. 

Raj begins. 

‘Jenna Clearwater’

‘ _ Ave atque vale _ ,’ they intone. ‘Hail and farewell.’

By the time Eli and Ava have finished their parts of the list, everyone but Alec is crying. He can’t cry because if he starts, he won’t be able to stop. When Izzy takes two shuddering breaths, he clenches his hands so tightly that he almost feels dizzy. 

‘Maryse Lightwood,’ says Izzy like the words are physically ripped from her chest. She’s not crying anymore and it’s somehow worse. 

‘ _ Ave Atque Vale _ . Hail and farewell.’

There is silence except the sound of Max’s gasping sobs. 

‘R-robert Lightw-wood,’ he chokes out through tears. 

Alec’s chest hurts. His  _ parabatai  _ rune burns and he tries not to think of Jace, of what might be happening to him. 

‘ _ Ave Atque Vale _ . Hail and farewell.’

Alec has to take small shallow breaths until he sure that he’ll be able to speak without flying to pieces. ‘ _ Pulvis et umbra sumus _ .’

‘We are dust and shadows,’ they say back. 

Eli is openly sobbing, nearly as loudly as Max. He lost his father in this attack too. Ava, who was already an orphan, is staring straight ahead as if she can’t believe this is happening. Raj is straight-backed and hard-eyed, shaking hands clasped behind his back. Izzy has one hand in Max’s hair and the other fisted in her the skirt of her white dress. Alec can’t meet her eyes. He just  _ can’t _ . 

Alec somehow makes himself walk forward,  _ stele _ held painfully tight in his hand. He bends over Arabella Townsend’s body— Arabella Townsend who wouldn’t have died if not for Alec, who has- who  _ had _ two children around Max’s age— and traces the  _ fire _ rune over her chest. The circle goes up in flames and Alec has never felt colder. 

‘We are dust and shadows,’ he whispers. It sounds deafening in his ears. 

None of them move for a very long time. Outside, the dark lightens to dawn. Long after the fire has burned out, not even leaving ashes behind, they stand paralyzed around the circle. 

Eventually Izzy says, ‘I think Max is asleep.’ Her voice is hoarse and exhausted. 

Alec forces himself to react. ‘All of you, get some sleep if you can,’ he says. ‘You know where to find me. Tomorrow we’ll talk about what comes next.’ And then he leaves, without looking back. He just ... can’t.

* * *

 

They don’t ever really talk about it. Instead they fall into an uneasy pattern. Max sleeps with Alec, so Alec can comfort him when he wakes up screaming, which he does, nearly every night. When Alec wakes up, he carries Max into Izzy’s room, and puts him on the makeshift cot they’ve set up, opposite Izzy’s bed. Alec tries not to look at the walls, where Izzy has hung photos of the dead and drawn intricate maps of where Valentine could be hiding. He can’t begrudge his sister her way of coping. She plots, Max refuses to speak and Alec ... Alec compartmentalizes. 

After dropping Max off, Alec goes to ops to check in on the others. They don’t have enough people to run proper patrols— the Clave is still ignoring him— but Alec tries to make sure they have people out at least every other night. Raj and Izzy switch off leading. Raj’s taunts have a sharper edge to them now, but he seems almost as determined as Alec to get back to business as usual. Izzy is angrier now, spending patrols silently killing demons like it might change the past. 

Alec finds himself mostly consumed with paperwork and politics. The first day he breached the unread messages following the attack, he was inundated with requests and demands. He manages to put off meeting with all of the downworld leaders— he doesn’t want to reveal just how weak the Institute is right now— except for the High Warlock of Brooklyn, who he needs, to look over the wards just to be on the safe side. 

The meeting is terribly embarrassing, mostly because Alec falls asleep waiting for the warlock to show up. One second he’s dreaming of blood and blond hair and the next second he’s looking into the face of the most attractive man he has ever seen in his life and all he can think is that the picture in his file did not do the guy justice. 

‘They never do,’ purrs the warlock, Bane, and Alec just about passes out from shame, or maybe it’s exhaustion. Who can tell anymore? 

Other than Bane, the Downworlders seem to prefer lodging their complaints from afar. Alec can’t say that he blames them, it’s uncomfortable being the only Shadowhunter in a vampire den, the reverse is probably just as unpleasant. Plus, it works out in their favor anyway because it’s easier to brush them off. 

Alec knows he’s doing a shameful job of running this institute but ... he doesn’t know what else he can do. Until the Clave sends back up, he only has two active Shadowhunters with training, and they need to sleep. They can’t possibly respond to everything. Alec forces himself to read every incident report anyways, especially the ones that will never get investigated. He owes it to every murdered Mundane and missing werewolf child to know their stories, even if he can’t do his job. 

He does a lot of reading, actually. When he isn’t shooting targets till everything fades away or running the institute, he’s reading Mundane books. If you had asked him just a few months ago, what he thought of Mundanes or their books, he probably would have laughed in your face but Max won’t talk and he wakes up screaming every single night, and Shadowhunters don’t talk about things like that. So Alec is forced to turn to alternate sources of information. He didn’t know much about Mundanes before, beyond that they were soft, and so he thought that they probably talked about their feelings, and they did. 

He gets the books from a little bookstore in Brooklyn, far enough from the institute to make him feel okay about it. The boy at the counter— who is always reading something— makes awkward conversation and Alec ... actually kind of likes it. The bookstore is so different from the institute that he can almost forget everything for just a few minutes. 

Alec has finished two books so far about ‘the grieving process’ and he’s in the middle of a third. He doesn’t understand it all that well, but he can’t deny that they’ve been helpful for Max, and even the survivors. Alec does his best to ignore it when something he’s reading resonates so much that it feels like somebody’s hit him in the gut. Leaders don’t have the luxury of grief.

Leaders also don’t have the luxury of sleep. Alec’s nightmares are near silent, and always about Jace. Images of his missing  _ parabatai’ _ s bruised wrists and haunted face are never far from his waking mind but in sleep, it becomes impossible to ignore the tug from the bond that ties them together, however thin it may be stretched. Alec wants nothing more than to dedicate every inadequate resource they have into finding Jace but he knows— he  _ knows _ —that they can’t. He is a leader now, not just a  _ parabatai _ or a brother. He tries to content himself with knowing that Izzy’s vengeful search for Valentine will likely lead them to Jace too, but Alec still feels like a monster for abandoning him all the same.

* * *

 

Days turn to weeks and weeks pass into a month. At the beginning, Alec sends daily messages to the Clave, begging for reinforcements, for guidence, for anything. After weeks of getting nothing but orders to ‘handle it’, Alec gives up. If he’s being honest, he selfishly doesn’t even know if he wants the Clave to get involved anymore. They have found a fragile little peace together, one that the Clave will surely disrupt. Alec won’t say that they’re good but they’re alive. Ava killed her first demon yesterday. Eli can hit two out of three bullseyes with throwing knives. Raj has grudgingly joined Izzy’s search for Valentine, which has spilled out from her room into a previously unused corner of ops. Max sleeps through the night for the first time on a Thursday, and then the message comes, but it’s not from the Clave. 

Alec is on his way back from archery training with Ava and Eli when Raj waves him over. 

‘You have a fire message from a—’ Raj pauses to find the name. ‘— sorry, an Annamarie Highsmith.’

It’s a Shadowhunter name, one that Alec has heard before but doesn’t recognise. ‘Is she—’

‘Clave?’ asks Raj anticipating the question. ‘No. And before you ask, she’s not institute-based either. It’s straight from Idris.’

Alec frowns. That can’t be good. ‘Is it in my office?’

Raj nods and Alec heads off, trying not to look like he’s rushing. 

‘Alec,’ says Izzy stopping him in his tracks. She has dark circles under her eyes and her face is stony. Max trails behind her, cheeks red against his pale face.  ‘I have a probable sighting, out by Hell’s Kitchen.’ 

‘Fitting,’ says Raj, earning an almost invisible smile from Max.

‘Take Ava and Eli and check it out,’ says Alec. He knows better than to forbid her to go. She won’t listen. ‘Recon only. Be back before dark.’

Izzy nods curtly, her back straight, and Alec aches. He misses her. 

Max clings to Alec’s leg, blond hair hanging low over his eyes, as he finally makes his way to his office.

The letter is sitting innocently on Alec’s desk with the rest of his mail. But something makes him pick it up instead of scanning it and reading it on his computer like protocol dictates. He’s glad he did. 

It starts out innocuously enough. 

> _ Alexander Lightwood, _
> 
> _ My name is Annamarie Highsmith. Please allow me to extend my most sincere condolences regarding the death of your parents. _

Alec has to force himself to relax his hands so he doesn't rip the paper. He skims through several paragraphs about the Clave— she can’t possibly have send him a message for  _ that _ and he can read it later— and freezes when he gets near the bottom.

> _ I have enjoyed a close relationship with your father and I want to offer you help in the best way I know how. I have never had children of my own, though I have always wanted them and after my husband’s untimely death, at Valentine’s hands, I despaired of ever having the opportunity. I now believe the Angel has entangled our paths. With your blessing, I want to offer your youngest brother Max a home in Idris, where he would have everything he could desire.  _

Alec feels like he can’t get enough air into his lungs. Max tugs his arm insistently looking worried. 

‘I’m fine,’ he lies. His mind whirls but he forces himself to finish reading. 

> _ Your sister and yourself would of course be welcome to visit him at any time. Please consider this, both for your brother and for the memory of your father. I feel as though I know you personally Alexander and I know that you will do right by your brother.  _
> 
> _ In the name of the Angel, _
> 
> _ Annamarie Highsmith _

It takes all of Alec’s strength to keep himself from tearing up the letter immediately. Only the knowledge that Max is watching him restrains him. He feels so angry that he’s nauseous.

‘Max, I’m gonna need you to go sit with Raj for a little while so I can take of some boring institute business,’ says Alec making sure to keep his voice calm and even. One of his books says that it’s important not to project negative emotions and he’s doing his best. 

Max puts two fingers in his mouth but nods and hugs Alec. Alec hugs him back, pulling Max close like he does after nightmares. 

‘I promise after I’m done, we can have our reading lesson just like always.’ 

He walks Max back to ops, the letter crumpled in his clenched fists. 

‘Can you watch him?’ he asks Raj. ‘I need to handle something.’

Raj looks curious but doesn’t question Alec in front of Max. ‘You wanna help me with the map or you wanna color? Your choice Littlest Lightwood.’ 

Alec ruffles Max’s hair and leaves knowing that Max is in safe hands. 

Alec needs to— he needs to answer— he  _ needs _ to hit something. He picks up the thing nearest to him and throws it at the wall as hard as he can. It doesn’t make him feel better. Blinking back unexpected tears, he bends over and picks it up. It’s one of the books,  _ Parenting A Child With Trauma _ . He bites his lip so hard that it bleeds and imagines shooting an arrow at Annamarie Highsmith’s head. 

He knows that he shouldn’t hate her with such vehemence, but she’s destroying his family, what’s left of it anyway. Because Alec’s not stupid. He can read between the lines and guess that this Annamarie Highsmith is the reason Robert Lightwood had been ‘busy with Clave business’ in Idris for months. But the truth is, as much as Alec loves— loved his mother, it’s the audacity of trying to take Max away that makes him want to wring the woman’s neck. She has no right. 

‘I know you will do right by your brother,’ the letter had read. 

‘That’s exactly what I’m doing,’ Alec says just above a whisper. There’s no one there to hear it, but it needs to be said all the same. 

Alec takes a deep breath and sits down to write a response. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Clave shows up to cause trouble and Alec and Lydia come to an agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm wow, this has kinda spiraled out of control. I swear we will get to some domestic fluff eventually but with the Clave involved, some conflict is to be expected :) 
> 
> Warning for lashing out with violence, a very brief mention of child abuse and Imogen Herondale being incredibly manipulative.
> 
> Edit: also possible warning for a panic attack or at least panic attack like symptoms

For a time, Alec dares to hope that he might be free of the problem that is Annamarie Highsmith. But as with everything else, life has other ideas for Alec Lightwood and Inquisitor Imogen Herondale appears without warning just as winter is melting into spring.

‘It has come to the attention of the Clave that the institute is not your first priority anymore Mr. Lightwood’ she says looking at Alec who is standing in front of Max, Ava and Raj. Izzy is thankfully out patrolling with Eli, Alec is concerned that his sister might have done something inadvisable. As it stands, Raj and Ava are bristling.

‘Is that so?’ says Alec trying to project a calm he doesn’t feel.

‘Alec _saved_ us,’ hisses Ava through clenched teeth when she realizes that Alec isn’t going to defend himself.

Herondale gives him scathing look and Alec holds his hand up. ‘Raj, please take Max and Ava. The Inquisitor and I need to speak privately.’

‘Right away, Sir,’ says Raj without a trace of mockery and Alec is torn between gratitude and fear.

He watches them go, his back held painfully straight. When they’re out of earshot he turns back to Herondale. ‘Now then Inquisitor,’ he says. ‘I fear we have business to attend to.’

‘The Clave made a mistake allowing a _child_ to run this institute,’ says Herondale darkly. ‘You may think you are equal to any other institute head but you are nothing more than a boy wearing his parents clothes.’

Alec bites his tongue at the mention of his parents. She has no right— but she is the inquisitor. He cannot do anything to jeopardize his people.

‘I hope your business here goes beyond criticizing my leadership skills,’ he says unable to keep the anger from leaching into his tone. ‘Because a letter would have sufficed.’

Herondale smiles like a predator. ‘I has come to our attention that you have been putting Shadowhunter children in danger. Some might say that is a crime.’

Alec wants to scream. What was he supposed to do? He had no one. The Clave abandoned them. The demons never stop coming. He’s little more than a child himself even if he hasn’t felt like one in years. But he can’t say any of that. The Clave won’t take excuses.

‘We took heavy losses,’ he says instead. ‘My people stepped up. They _are_ Shadowhunters before anything else.’

‘And your brother?’ asks Herondale and suddenly everything is becoming very clear. ‘How do you justify keeping young Maxwell in harm’s way?’

‘I would never endanger my brother,’ snarls Alec before he can think better of it.

‘Good then you will be happy to send him to Idris where he will be safe,’ says Herondale with that same thin smile.

That _bitch_.

‘Max is not going anywhere,’ he says. He feels like the floor is tilting under him. His palms are sweaty and he can barely breathe.

‘You are not in any position to be making demands, Lightwood,’ says Herondale, and something in Alec fractures.

‘What do you want?’ he half snarls. Tears prickle behind his eyes.

‘You will relinquish control of the institute on behalf of the Lightwoods,’ says Herondale. ‘You, your siblings, your _children_. They will never lead this institute, or any other.’

‘What?’ gasps Alec. This is not the Clave, not the Law. This is personal.

‘Or your brother goes to Idris to live with the lovely Mrs. Highsmith and your sister goes to a corner of the world where she can be broken of her _inclinations_ towards Downworlders.’

‘Done, I’ll step down,’ says Alec without even thinking twice. ‘My people stay here, all of them, my siblings, Ava, Eli and Raj.’

Herondale looks surprised and it makes Alec even angrier for some reason.

‘I could take them away anyway,’ she says and Alec’s anger turns to ice. ‘But I think it is better to watch Maryse’s precious son dishonor the legacy she sacrificed everything for.’

The ice in his veins seems to be spreading. Alec feels like he can’t move, can’t speak, can’t breathe. His lungs are too tight and his skin feels like a prison.

‘She would be ashamed of you,’ says Herondale conversationally.

Alec wonders if it’s possible to die just from words. This hurts more than any wound he’s had in his life. He feels dizzy and sick. Like she hit him in the head.

‘You— made your point,’ he croaks out.

‘I’ll be in touch Lightwood,’ she says, seeming gratified by his display of weakness. ‘We will return in three days and I expect a proper welcome.’

Alec doesn’t see her leave. He’s too focused on keeping himself from falling to pieces. His hands are shaking. His whole body is shaking. It’s all he can do to keep from collapsing where he stands.

‘Alec,’ says Raj softly. Alec didn’t hear him come in. Raj’s voice is careful in a way that he rarely is and that’s how Alec knows that he must look bad.

‘I— Is Izzy still gone?’

‘Yes,’ says Raj.

Alec’s knees threaten to buckle in relief. He simply can’t face his sister right now but Raj’s mere presence is helping him find his body again. After a few tense and shaky breaths, he feels calm enough to stagger over to a chair, which he collapses into.

‘What did she do?’ growls Raj.

It takes Alec a few tries to get it out. ‘She offered me a choice,’ he says. ‘But it wasn’t really a choice at all.’

‘Alec?’ says Raj voice sharpening. ‘What did _you_ do?’

‘I’m stepping down as head of the institute. My replacement arrives in three days.’

Raj gapes at him. ‘What she threaten you with?’ he demands.

‘Is the Herondale bitch gone?’ asks Ava appearing at the door with Max.

‘Language,’ says Alec without any heat. He’s tired, so tired. Max runs into his arms and gives him a wordless and desperate hug. He made the right choice.

‘Alec we can—’

‘No,’ says Alec cutting Raj off. ‘I made a deal. You all stay here, protected. Come on Max, it’s time for our reading lesson I think.’

* * *

 

The Clave envoy turns up three days later as promised. Herondale is there along with Victor Aldertree, a tall man with light brown skin and a severe expression, and they are trailed by Lydia Branwell, a blonde girl about Alec’s age who has a pen and paper in one hand and a _sereph_ blade in the other. They are followed by a troop of about 40 other Shadowhunters. Apparently, the Clave has finally seen fit to restaff them, now that Alec is no longer in charge.

The whole institute— all six of them— is there for the occasion. Izzy and Raj flank Alec defiantly. Izzy had been livid when Alec told her that he was stepping down, echoing the inquisitor as she accused him of abandoning everything their name stood for. In turn, he accused her of abandoning what little family she had left for a suicide mission and they had retreated to opposite sides of the institute when things started to lean towards violence. Alec hadn’t been sure that she would show up to support him but here she is. Max is behind them a _sereph_ dagger hanging on his belt. Alec, who does everything he could to keep Max away from the violence of the Shadowhunter life is furious when he notices it and Raj or Izzy is going to get an earful when this is over. Ava and Eli are standing a little behind Max, protecting him from the strangers in a way that makes Alec chest ache. His people deserve better than this, he only wishes that he was able to give it to them.

‘Welcome to the New York Institute,’ says Alec formally. ‘I am Acting Head Alexander Lightwood.’

‘New Head Victor Aldertree,’ says Aldertree shaking Alec’s hand firmly and Alec feels a bolt of annoyance at this ritual exchange, as if they don’t know each other’s names.

‘We are all servants of the Clave,’ says Alec. ‘The seat passes from me to you.’

‘I bring with me reinforcements at the behest of the Clave,’ says Aldertree.

Herondale smiles thinly at Alec and he _hates_ her more than anyone in that moment, maybe even more than Valentine.

‘The Clave is generous,’ he says suddenly grateful for the artificial formality. He isn’t sure he’d be able to remain civil if this was a normal conversation.

‘I will discharge my duties as the Clave has bidden me,’ says Aldertree addressing everyone now. ‘Make yourselves at home here. Your orders will follow, dismissed.’

‘Your orders will follow,’ mimics Raj ducking out of the way of the sudden rush of strange Shadowhunters, his arms encircling Max protectively.

‘He’s clearly just some Clave puppet,’ says Eli sounding disgusted.

‘With a stick up his ass,’ says Ava smirking.

‘A pity since it’s such a good looking one,’ says Raj and to everyone’s surprise, Izzy chokes out a bitten off laugh.

* * *

 

The takeover goes about as well as expected, which is to say terribly. Izzy has to be physically prevented from punching Aldertree in the face when he confines her to the institute for ‘reckless behavior’ among other things. She’s almost as angry about Alec’s new job, which is to liaise with the Downworld. He’s not stupid. He know’s it’s meant to be an insult, especially when Herondale brings up his ‘unnatural affinity for the demon-blooded creatures’ but Alec can’t bring himself to complain. It gives him time to focus on Max and he doesn’t mind the Downworlders so much. If anything, it’s given him a chance to make amends for the months where all he did was brush off their concerns.

The hardest thing to get used to is Lydia. She’s clearly been assigned to watch them, because suddenly Alec has a new shadow. She always stays just far away enough for plausible deniability but he knows that she’s up to something.

Things boil over in the middle of the second week. Alec has just gotten back from an unpleasant meeting with a werewolf family who lost a son a month ago. They were furious that the institute was only just now investigating and Alec had no defense, which was why he didn’t retaliate when the missing boy’s father punched him in the face. In fact, he almost welcomed it. Without the stress of running an institute to distract him, Alec has found himself torn between numbness and guilt more and more often, at least pain is something different.

He’s on his way back to his rooms debating whether or not to bother with an _iratze_ when he physically collides with Lydia Branwell.

‘Sorry,’ she says but somehow he doesn’t think it was an accident.

‘Can we just cut to the chase,’ he snaps. ‘I want to take a shower and I’m going to be late to meet Max.’

The girl looks thoughtful. ‘Is it hard?’ she asks.

‘Is what hard?’ asks Alec more than a little angry.

‘Living with your _parabatai_ —’

Alec interrupts because he is not having this conversation, especially not with _her_. ‘Gone? Yes. Is that all Miss Branwell?’

‘I was going to say is it hard living with his betrayal?’ she says and Alec stares at her.

‘What did you say?’ he asks low and dangerous.

‘I mean, it must be hard to be Jonathan— ‘

‘He prefers Jace,’ says Alec automatically.

'-- Morganstern’s _parabatai_ ,’ finishes Branwell only to gasp when Alec slams her into the wall, dagger pressed to her throat.

 _‘What_ did you call my brother?’

‘Come on, Alec,’ she says scornfully not seeming particularly bothered by the blade at her throat

‘Say that again,’ he growls. How dare she. How dare she talk about _Jace_. She has no right and a dark ugly part of him wants to see her bleed for it.

She must see something in his gaze because she looks horrified. He’s momentarily gratified, then ashamed, then confused when she says, ‘Raziel, you actually don’t know?’

The look on her face is so genuine that he actually drops the dagger, the blade winking out and the hilt hitting the floor.

‘What are you talking about?’ he demands. ‘Tell me!’

She sinks to the floor muttering to herself. ‘Why wouldn’t they tell you? Unless— but then why did they leave you here? That makes no sense.’

‘Lydia!’ he snarls and her first name seems to snap her out of it.

‘Jon— Jace is Valentine’s son,’ she says.

Alec’s knees buckle. ‘But Michael Wayland ...’

‘Killed by Valentine when Jo— Jace was a baby. When the truth came out, he was given to your parents, as a test of their loyalty.’

‘I— I don’t understand,’ whispers Alec. It’s too much. This can’t be true. But Branwell, Lydia, believes it. He can see that much in her face.

‘Because they were in the Circle,’ says Lydia and the dagger is back in Alec’s hand before he can think about it. Her hand snaps around his wrist.

‘You’re lying,’ he snarls. ‘You’re lying. Herondale put you up to this because she hates me and she hates my parents and you’re lying.’

‘I think you know I’m not,’ she says. ‘Didn’t you wonder why the Clave cut you off?’

‘What?’ says Alec. ‘They said it was for security— the City of Bones ...’

‘Because your _parabatai_ let his father in,’ says Lydia not letting go of his wrist but she sounds uncertain. ‘Because they thought you might be compromised.’

Valentine is _not_ Jace’s father,’ snaps Alec. He can’t even begin to deal with this. Lydia’s hand is hot around his wrist and he can’t seem to drop the dagger. A small part of him realises that they shouldn’t be making a scene in the hall where anyone could see them, even if they are in a mostly unused corridor, but it’s drowned out by the part of him that nothing but anger and static.

‘Alec ...’ says Lydia surprisingly gently.

‘No,’ says Alec sharply. ‘I don’t care what you say. Jace is my brother. Wayland or Morganstern, it doesn’t matter. Michael Wayland or Valentine or whoever, _hurt_ him when he was a child and Valentine is hurting him _now_. He’s _not_ Jace’s family. I am.’

‘He’s hurting him?’ says Lydia. She looks genuinely upset. ‘How do you know?’

‘I can feel it,’ says Alec. He means it to come out scornfully— Does she not know how the _parabatai_ bond works? — but instead it comes out ragged. _Jace_. He doesn’t want to think of his missing brother. He doesn’t want to think of the bruised boy Jace was or what Valentine might be doing to him now. Alec’s always known that Jace’s father was a monster, but ... Valentine.

Lydia frowns. ‘But if Jace didn’t let him in, then who did?’

‘How should I know?’ says Alec wearily, too tired for sarcasm. ‘The footage was wiped. Everyone was dead and I had bigger problems. If the Clave wanted to know so badly, they should have sent back up when I asked.’

‘What?’ says Lydia. ‘What do you mean, when you asked?’

‘Would you prefer me to say when I begged?’ asks Alec, maybe not too tired for sarcasm after all.

‘They said you blocked the portal,’ said Lydia. ‘That you wouldn’t take messages. So they decided to leave you to it. We— They had people watching to see if you contacted Valentine but ... There were orders. No engagement.’

Anger gives Alec energy. ‘There were Shadowhunters here?’ he asks ‘And they just watched as my people worked themselves to death? Ava’s only fifteen!’

‘They lied about you,’ says Lydia. She seems unsurprised by it.

‘You’ve been following me,’ says Alec pressing what little advantage he has. ‘Why?’

Lydia nods, ‘I have my orders. There’s ... there’s someone I need to behave for.’

Alec can understand this at least. ‘No siblings,’ he remarks. ‘Boyfriend?’

‘Fiancé,’ corrects Lydia with a tiny defiant smile.

Alec looks her up and down and feels like he’s seeing her for the first time. They aren’t so different as he first believed.

‘You’d do anything for him?’ says Alec but it’s only halfway a question. He knows the look on her face and it’s love. The kind of love that makes you give up everything to protect someone.

‘Yes,’ she says. ‘But I also believe right and wrong. I think we can help each other Alec.’

‘What are you proposing?’ he asks.

‘I’ll give you information about the Clave,’ she says. ‘Angel knows they aren’t telling you anything now.’

‘And what do you get out of it?’ asks Alec. He’s not quite ready to trust her, it’s a little too ... convenient, new, something.

‘I want Herondale gone,’ says Lydia. ‘But I’d settle for having this institute.’

‘You want me to help you stage a coup?’ says Alec gaping. ‘So you can become the head?’

‘I have no problem sharing the reins with you if that’s a condition,’ says Lydia easily. ‘Unofficially or officially.’

‘I want you to help me find my brother,’ says Alec. He can think about the whole coup thing later.

‘I want to marry my husband in gold when this is over,’ says Lydia.

The Clave only recognizes married co-heads. Alec gives her a thin smile. ‘Believe me I won’t get in the way of that. I want protection for my people, including Jace.’

‘He’ll need to be questioned,’ says Lydia. ‘But I see no reason why he should be tried. Your parents weren’t.’

Alec hides his flinch when she says ‘parents’. He hasn’t forgotten what she said about them earlier but he can’t think about it right now so he pushes it away. ‘Done.’

‘Pleasure doing business with you, Alec Lightwood,’ she says pushing herself to her feet.

‘Likewise, Lydia Branwell,’ he replies accepting her offered hand. ‘If you betray us, I’ll bury you.’

‘I’m happy to hear it,’ says Lydia because apparently she’s odd like that. Then, like nothing has happened she says, ‘I’m sorry to have kept you. You said something about being late to meet your brother?’

Alec frowns. ‘We have reading lessons everyday at five,’ he says. ‘His routine is especially important given the changes around here.’

If Lydia is surprised by his justification, she doesn’t show it. ‘Mind if I tag along? I’ll keep my distance.’

‘I know you’ve done it before,’ he says trying not to sound angry. It’s hard. His time reading with Max is the bright spot of his day, something the Clave hasn’t yet managed to taint.

‘But now we’re partners, so I’m asking permission,’ she explains.

‘As long as you don’t disrupt it,’ says Alec begrudgingly. ‘He doesn’t like strangers.’

Lydia looks at him thoughtfully. ‘You’re good for him.

Alec looks away. ‘I try. I have to be. I’m all he has left.’

‘I mean it,’ says Lydia. ‘I’ve watched you and you’re a good brother. He’s lucky to have you.’

Alec wonders if she knows about the Mundane books. It makes him flush and he’s not sure how he feels about the idea of her knowing. He knows he should feel more ashamed ... or something but the books are working. They’ve helped his brother when nothing else did.

‘Thanks,’ he says uncomfortably.

‘I’ll stay outside the library if you want,’ she says. ‘I have a book of my own to read.’

‘Thanks,’ he repeats and he heads off to the library, to _Max_ , without checking to see if she’s behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What to expect next chapter? Izzy and Raj get involved, Magnus makes his return and several mysteries come to light. Plus, we get to see one of Alec and Max's reading lessons!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so it's been like three months lol! Sorry guys, it turns out that an international move and starting a new job really takes it out of you. 
> 
> This chapter is a little bit on the shorter side but the next chapter is already half written so ... hopefully they'll be less of a wait this time. 
> 
> Oh and as a disclaimer, I know basically nothing about foster/kinship care in New York. Most everything here is based on Vermont and/or New Hampshire and/or made up for story purposes.

‘Okie dokie,’ says Simon. ‘I just need a phone number so I call you when the order gets in.’

Alec has an Institute cell phone left over from his stint as Head, brief and chaotic as it may have been. He thinks about giving it to Simon but he doesn’t like the idea of Aldertree and the Inquisitor knowing that he talks to Mundanes. 

‘I don’t have a phone,’ he tells Simon to which the other boy looks incredulous. ‘But I’m getting one.’

‘How do you survive without a phone?’ asks Simon, book order forgotten ‘How do you stay in touch with your friends?’

Alec is trying to think of the best way to explain fire messages without saying something that he shouldn’t when it suddenly occurs to him that he doesn’t really have friends outside of New York, except Aline. 

‘I write letters,’ he blurts out. 

‘Like the eighteen hundreds?’ asks Simon.

Alec blushes. ‘She lives in a really remote part of Europe. No internet or phone.’

‘Sounds awful,’ says Simon. ‘My friend Clary’s mom is always trying to get us to go on these back-to-the-earth art retreats where you watch paint dry all day ... literally.’

Alec thinks of Idris, and aches. 

‘When I was younger, we used to go to Europe to visit my friend, o-our parents were close.’

‘I’ve never heard you mention your parents before,’ says Simon quietly. 

‘They died,’ says Alec, quickly, like ripping out Ravenor spines. He’s afraid to look up and see pity but Simon is looking at him with something that looks a lot like understanding. 

‘My father died when I was little, cancer,’ says Simon. ‘I can’t imagine losing my mom too.’

‘It’s hard,’ says Alec thickly. ‘I— I have my siblings to worry about, and...’ It’s too hard to explain his assignment without giving anything away. ‘... And my work.’

‘Is that why you always buy grief books, for your siblings?’ asks Simon.

‘For my brother,’ admits Alec. ‘He’s 6 and he doesn’t talk anymore, not since my— since the accident.’

‘It’s not of my business but is he in therapy?’ Simon asks.

Alec knows the word from his books. Therapy is what Mundanes call it when they talk to a special kind of doctor about their feelings. Shadowhunters don’t have that. You can talk to your  _ parabatai _ — Jace — if you have one, or your commander if it’s interfering with your hunting, but that’s it. Shadowhunters are strong but Alec’s learning that maybe that doesn’t have much to do with it. 

‘My family, my parents don’t— didn’t believe in that,’ he says. 

‘Think about it,’ says Simon. ‘I was in therapy for years after my father died and it really helped. If money is a problem there’s people you can talk to. Is there a caseworker or was it handled out of court?’

Alec senses that he’s stumbled into some sort of Mundane thing he knows nothing about that has the potential to get him in trouble. He needs to do more research. 

‘Out of court,’ he says hoping it’s the right answer. 

‘And your guardian isn’t a therapy person either, got it,’ says Simon nodding.

Alec thinks of the Clave even though he’s pretty sure that’s not what Simon means. ‘No.’

‘Clary’s dad is a detective but he knows this nurse who works with social services,’ says Simon. ‘I can see if he can find you some info.’

Alec doesn’t want to get anyone else involved, but ... it sounds like it would be good for Max. Angel knows Alec isn’t doing enough for his little brother. 

‘Okay,’ he says carefully. ‘Thanks Simon.’

‘No problem man,’ says Simon. ‘You can repay me by giving me your number when you get your phone.’

* * *

 

The whole train ride home Alec thinks about what Simon said. Alec’s not exactly experienced but he’s not stupid. Mundanes talk about getting each other’s numbers so they can go on a date. Could Simon want that? 

Alec doesn’t know how that makes him feel. He’s known that he doesn’t like girls since he was 13 but he never let himself think about it, never let himself want anything to come of it. That was dangerous. He had to marry a woman in gold to lead an institute and that was that. His parents never would have settled for less. But now? Imogene has seen to it that he will never be in charge, and even if he and Lydia pull off their little coup, Lydia will be the one getting married. 

Alec knows there are other Shadowhunters like him, not out in the open, but there, somewhere. It was different for Mundanes. They were more open, especially in a place like New York. Alec knows there are whole places and clubs just for people like him. Maybe Simon is like him too. But does Simon  _ like _ him? Does he like Simon? Or is it just for fun, like Izzy used to be, before everything. 

Alec wishes he could ask his sister but they’re still avoiding each other. He toys with the idea of asking Lydia but he isn’t sure he can trust her with his biggest secret just yet. 

As of think about her has summoned her, Alec’s phone rang, Lydia. 

He picks up, ‘Hello?’ 

‘There’s a werewolf here to see you and she says it can’t wait,’ says Lydia without any preamble. ‘Also your sister snuck out again. Aldertree doesn’t know yet but I can’t keep covering for her or he’s going to get suspicious.’

Alec swears under his breath. 

‘I’m on the train from Brooklyn. Is she from the Manhattan pack?’

He can hear Lydia talking to a snarling girl in the background.

‘Yeah she is,’ says Lydia.

‘Tell her I’ll meet her in Central Park,’ says Alec. ‘It’s closer and it’ll make her more comfortable to meet on neutral territory.’ 

‘Understood,’ says Lydia with only a moment of hesitation. ‘I’ll send you her info and tell her where to go.’

* * *

 

Alec picks out the werewolf the moment she comes into his view. She is about his age with warm brown skin and a halo of curls held back from her face with a headband. She also looks so angry that Alec is surprised Lydia had let her leave. 

‘Maia Roberts? I’m Alec Lightwood, liaison to the New York Institute,’ he says smoothly offering his arms, palm up, for her inspection. 

He’s learned that it’s a measure of courtesy, allowing a werewolf to scent him and proving that he bears no weapons in one easy gesture. 

She ignores his gesture of peace and presses up into his space. He resists the instinctive urge to retreat. 

‘I know who you are, Shadowhunter,’ she snaps. 

She looks angry but she sounds devastated. Alec wonders who she lost and he asks as much. 

‘My pack-sister,’ says Maia bitterly. ‘She was taken by your kind.’

Valentine.  _ Jace _ . Alec aches. 

‘I’d like to activate a few runes so I can better recall our conversation,’ he says. ‘Is that okay?’

He’s learning. The first time, he activated them without thinking twice and found himself flat on his back with a face full of vamp fangs. 

She looks suspicious but gestures impatiently. 

‘I don’t care. If you try anything, I’ll rip your fucking face off,’ she says flat and steady. 

Alec doesn’t comment that threatening a Shadowhunter is a punishable offense. It never goes over well and it’s no way to build trust.

‘What’s her name?’

‘Gretel,’ says Maia. ‘Gretel Monroe, she’s 17.’ 

Alec doesn’t recognise the name. He’ll have to look her up when he gets back to the Institute. 

‘We’re you there when she was taken?’ he asks. 

Maia shakes her head looking bitter. 

‘I was at work, The Jade Wolf, I waitress there. I was supposed to meet her but it was busy and I was running late.’

‘So you only witnessed the aftermath,’ says Alec.

‘I know what I saw Shadowhunter,’ says Maia. ‘There was a  _ sereph _ hilt left behind and I could smell Nephilim blood on the ground and the walls.’

‘I don’t doubt you,’ he says easily. 

Maia’s eyes widen but she doesn’t say anything. 

Alec goes on. ‘My sister has been tracking Valentine’s activity, would you consent to meeting with her for a brief interview?’

‘Will it help?’ asks Maia. ‘Be straight with me, is this report going to go into some file never to be touched again because if you won’t find Gretel, I will.’

Alec grits his teeth. He deserves it. He ignored reports of serious problems for almost two months. 

‘I can’t promise will find her,’ he says truthfully. ‘But I swear to you that I’ll look.’

Maia bends in and inhales deeply trying to scent any lie on him. 

‘Valentine has someone I care for too,’ says Alec. 

‘Your  _ parabatai _ right?’ says Maia. ‘Is it true that he’s Valentine’s son?’

A year ago Alec would be aghast that classified information found its way into the hands of a teenage werewolf, now he knows better. 

‘Only by blood,’ says Alec. It would be a mistake to lie now, when she’s thinking about trusting him. ‘As far as I’m concerned, Valentine forfeited any claim to fatherhood with the way he treated my brother.’

Maia purses her lips thoughtfully. 

‘Okay,’ she says after a beat of tense silence. ‘I understand that.’

‘I’m going to give you a form to fill out about your friend, sorry pack-sister, Gretel,’ says Alec. ‘You can give it to my sister when you meet with her.’

‘So the information can go straight  into your database?’ demands Maia suspicion lighting up in her eyes again. 

‘Not if you don’t want it to,’ says Alec. This is something new he’s trying, something dangerous in the eyes of the Clave. ‘Only her name, id, and a note that she should be classed as non-hostile.’ 

‘How do I know I can trust you?’ she asks face hardening. 

‘You don’t,’ says Alec simply. Then he smiles. ‘But as I recall you did reserve the right to ‘rip my fucking face off’ if I screw you over.’ 

He takes it as a good sign when she actually laughs. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia backstory, Clave bullshit, and a reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for suicide mention, see the end notes for a more detailed explanation 
> 
> Hope you enjoy y'all

By the time Alec gets back to the Institute, it’s already starting to get dark. He needs to file a preliminary report on Gretel Monroe, catch up with Lydia, figure out what he’s going to say to Izzy, check his messages, and read two more chapters of  _ The Hobbit _ with Max. 

Unfortunately, when he gets to his office— little more than a closet by the entrance to the courtyard— the first thing he sees is a notice from Aldertree informing him that Rosemarc broke his ankle and Alec will be replacing him on overnight patrol until he is declared fit for duty. 

Alec grits his teeth against the flare of anger that rises in the pit of his stomach. Officially he’s off the regular patrol rotation because his liaison position takes priority but it seems Aldertree isn’t above abusing his position and Alec already knows the Inquisitor is more happy to look the other way. The only way he’s going to get through this is to keep his head down and mouth shut, so he doesn’t have much choice, he has to go. 

His stewing is interrupted by a knock on the doorframe, Lydia. 

‘I’m so sorry I didn’t give you a heads up about patrol,’ she says when she sees his face. ‘I just found out.’

‘Does Aldertree suspect something?’ asks Alec waving her off and activating the  _ soundless  _ rune under his desk. 

‘Yes and no,’ says Lydia. ‘He believes I have feelings for you, that they might be clouding my judgement, but no, he doesn’t suspect treason.’

Alec gapes at her. 

‘But you have a fiance back in Idris,’ he points out. 

‘Alec,’ says Lydia with an ‘are you serious right now’ look that reminds him of Izzy. ‘They probably think John is a political match. I’d hardly be the first to have a wandering eye, and a wandering heart.’

Alec thinks of his father. ‘You aren’t like that, they should be able to see it.’

Lydia laughs, ‘I appreciate your impassioned defense of my honor but we can definitely use this to our advantage.’

Alec hadn’t thought of that. Usually his thoughts on romantic rumors begin and end at, pretend they don’t exist, much like his policy on romantic feelings. 

‘How do you propose to do that?’ he asks. 

‘How far do you want to take it?’ she counters. ‘I can play love sick puppy and let them think they’re playing me or we can really shake things up around here.’

‘What are you thinking?’ he asks. 

‘Get engaged,’ she says. 

He stares. ‘What about...’

‘Not for real, Alec,’ she says exasperated. ‘As a distraction. I don’t think it should be our first plan but someday soon, your sister’s going to find Valentine or he’s going to show up himself and I don’t think we want Imogene and Aldertree at the helm when it happens.’ 

Alec nods. ‘We can add it to the list,’ he jokes. ‘But let me fill you in on today, I want to grab something to eat before I head out tonight. 

‘Of course,’ says Lydia with a faint frown. ‘I would have brought you something but I haven’t had time to get to the commissary myself.’ 

Alec waves her off. 

‘The missing werewolf, Gretel Monroe, has a strong potential connection to Valentine,’ he says. ‘But since I haven’t even written my report yet, I think Izzy is our number one concern right now.’ 

Lydia sighs and moves from her spot against the wall to the chair across from his desk. 

‘I hate to ask any more of you right now,’ she says. ‘But I can’t keep her out of trouble indefinitely. It’s only a matter of time.’

‘We’re still not speaking outside of any official business,’ admits Alec. ‘We’ve fought but never like this. After mom and dad ... she’s been different— I mean, we all have but ... she’s angry with me, f-for not being here I think.’

He says the last bit in a rush. He’s thought about it a lot but this is the first time he’s said the words out loud. 

‘Grief does strange things to the mind Alec,’ says Lydia. ‘It magnifies fears and flaws. I should know. When my father died, I nearly followed him.’ 

Alec suddenly feels like he doesn’t know her at all. 

‘I didn’t know you were close,’ he says quietly. 

‘My mother died when I was only three,’ she says. ‘She ... she killed herself after she was bitten by a werewolf, so it was just me and my father when I was growing up.’

‘I’m surprised you hold the liberal views on Downworlders that you do,’ says Alec after a beat of shocked silence. 

‘I didn’t always but ... after I saw that most Downworlders just want to live out their lives in peace? My mother made her choice, I made mine.’

Alec studied her as he was seeing her for the first time. Despite their late night planning sessions, this was the first time she had shared anything of her personal life beyond superficial tidbits about her fiance. He was beginning to see that they had more in common than he originally realized. 

Lydia shook her head as if to clear her mind of the past. 

‘I don’t talk about it often,’ she says. ‘I just wanted you to know ...’

She frowns searching for the right words. 

‘You’re not doing it wrong,’ she says at last. ‘I know our situations aren’t comparable but ... what you’re doing for your siblings, it’s the right thing to do, even when you don’t see results.’ 

For a moment Alec is too overwhelmed to say anything. He’s so very lucky to have Lydia. She’s really been his rock as he tries to hold his people together without falling apart himself. 

‘Thank you,’ he says when he’s certain that his voice will be steady. 

‘I just want you to know that I’m here for you Alec,’ she says. ‘I’m all in on this alliance, to the bitter end. Even if—’ 

Alec never finds out what she was going to say next because Eli comes running in heedless of the  _ soundless _ rune, eyes wide and chest heaving. 

Lydia quickly moves to dispel the rune but Alec can read the the word Eli is frantically mouthing around the unnatural silence. 

_ Jace _ .

* * *

Alec and Lydia duck into the back of ops nearly invisible in the crowd. Aldertree is speaking at the front, Imogene behind him in formal robes. 

‘... therefore in light recent events, it is my solemn duty to inform you that Jonathan Morganstern, formerly, Jonathan Wayland, is wanted for treason against the Clave.’

Alec’s breath catches in his throat. All he can hear is a low buzzing in his ears. He’s faintly aware that there are eyes on him but he can’t bring himself to care. To hell with lying low! How could they do  _ this _ ?

‘Alec, Alec, come on,’ someone is tugging his arm.

Lydia. 

‘Let’s get you out of here,’ she says. 

‘... alive for questioning,’ intones Aldertree.

‘This is fucking bullshit,’ shrieks Izzy from somewhere on the other side of the room. 

Alec pales. She’s going to get herself thrown in a cell, or worse. 

‘Move Alec,’ orders Lydia not unkindly. ‘Raj and Eli will get Izzy.’

Alec’s hands are shaking and he’s so angry, at Aldertree, at Izzy, at himself. Why is he so weak? Why can’t he be strong enough?

He’s barely aware of Lydia guiding him down the hallway into a room he’s never seen before. 

‘These are my rooms,’ says Lydia briskly. ‘We’ll be safe from questioning for a little bit at least.’

‘How could they?’ asks Alec still faintly numb. 

He doesn’t ask if she knew. It’s pretty clear that she didn’t and he won’t insult her by lashing out. 

‘They don’t care about him,’ says Lydia evenly, and Alec is forcibly reminded that she has never even met Jace. His brother is nothing more to her than something that causes Alec distress.

‘They threw him away,’ snarls Alec. ‘Gave him back to a man to hurt him, a genocidal madman.’

‘Get your slimy hands the fuck off me,’ shouts Izzy.

She quickly comes into view, half dragged between Eli and Raj. 

‘She fucking bit me,’ says Raj, voice flat and face blank. ‘Twice.’

Eli looks like wants to be somewhere else. 

‘Your sacrifice is appreciated,’ says Lydia dryly. 

‘How could you let them do this, Alec?’ demands Izzy. ‘How could you let them do this to your parabatai, to  _ Jace _ ?’

Something inside Alec tightens and snaps.

‘You haven’t even been here,’ he screams. ‘You have idea what I’ve been doing. How could I  _ let _ them do this? I don’t know Izzy? Maybe I’m just weak? I’m sure  _ Jace _ would never have let this happen!’

Everyone stares at him in shocked silence. 

‘Oh wait except, Jace got himself grabbed by Valentine and mom and dad got themselves killed and now, I’m all that’s left! So I guess it’s just too bad if my best isn’t good enough because I’m the only one who’s still fucking here.’

‘Alec,’ says Lydia slowly reaching for his arm. 

‘Don’t touch me,’ he screams jerking back. 

He’s dimly aware that he’s acting out of control but he just doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything at all. Nothing matters. 

The shocked tension is broken by the shattering of a lamp. Alec’s head snaps up just in time to meet his youngest brother’s eyes before Max runs away.

‘Max,’ says Raj lunging a few moments too late. 

At the same time Izzy goes for Alec, frozen in place by anger and self loathing. 

‘I’m so sorry Alec,’ she says softly. 

He looks up and she’s crying. It’s too much. 

‘It’s really hard,’ he says thickly. ‘It’s so fucking hard Izzy.’

‘I know,’ she sobs. ‘I really miss them Alec.’

Alec knows somewhere far away that Max should be his top concern but his mind is fuzzy with grief and his sister is looking at him like she sees him for the first time in months and he can’t move. He needs this. 

‘I’ve been so angry at you,’ she says. ‘I know it’s wrong but I thought— I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

He forces his numb arms to move, to close the distance between them and pull her close. 

‘It’s okay,’ he says rocking her like he did when she was young, like he does when Max can’t sleep. ‘It’s okay. I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you.’ 

His whole world has shrunk down to the two of them, the others may as well be statues. 

‘I just thought if I found him, if i killed him, it would make it better. That it wouldn’t hurt as much, like a scar,’ she’s shaking.

Alec thinks about Max, and about Jace as a child, and the books that he’s been reading, and the way that he feels. 

‘It’s not a scar Izzy,’ he says into her hair, barely more than a breath. ‘It’s poison. If you don’t draw it out, it’ll kill you, you taught me that.’

She looks up at him, mascara smudged at the edges. ‘You mean ...’

‘No more hiding,’ he says. ‘No more secrets, no more silence.’ 

‘This is mushy and all, but I think someone needs a hug,’ says Raj breaking the moment.

He’s holding a squirming Max who’s face is hidden is Raj’s shoulder. 

‘Come here,’ says Alec gently. ‘I’m sorry I yelled Max. I’ve been really mad and I was scared to tell anyone so I just got madder and madder until I had to yell.’ 

Max hesitantly approaches his siblings before running into Alec’s arms. 

‘Lydia’s stalling Aldertree and Eli went to find Ava before you lost it,’ says Raj. 

Alec is barely paying attention. He’s too lost in the feeling of holding his both siblings close for the first time since the Rite of Mourning. It completes something in him, even as it makes him ache for Jace all the more. 

_ Soon, _ he thinks.  _ We’re back together now and Jace is next. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning note: Lydia tells Alec how her mother is attacked by a werewolf and killed herself rather than change.   
> *  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> So Alec finally got to yell. It's about time really. Next chapter, Magnus finally returns, Izzy meets a certain Marine Biology loving werewolf, and the shit really hits the fan. 
> 
> I'll try to get it up sometime next week but this week is wild so we'll see how it goes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepy Alec, Magnus returns, plotting, showers, drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Your comments and kudos totally got me through this week. It was rough but I made it and there's a new chapter. 
> 
> I'm posting this chapter early (does it count as a posting schedule if this is the first week I'm doing it and next week is an exception?) because I'm leaving for a family trip tomorrow. I'm skipping next week and then chapter six will be up September 13th. 
> 
> Heads up for abuse/torture, Valentine being a shitty parent, and blurring of the lines between Jace and Alec as individuals. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Things don’t get better for Alec immediately— a week after the announcement about Jace, things at the Institute actually seem worse— but none of it seems as bad with Izzy back on his side.

She gets him a phone, no questions asks, sits with him while Max sleeps, and trains out the dull throbbing rage at the Clave’s treatment of their missing brother. Telling Izzy that their parents were traitors, that Aldertree is telling the truth about Jace’s biological father tests the strength of their renewed bond, but Alec meant what he said, no more secrets between them. After her initial disbelief and rage, Izzy dives into her research with renewed direction and fuvor, increasingly convinced that the answer to Valentine’s whereabouts and eventual downfall lies somewhere in the obscure past.

For his part, Alec’s days are taken up with the downworlders and his nights with patrol. Aldertree has given Rosemarc a full two weeks to heal from his injury, which is a week over the the maximum standard leave. Alec knows better than to complain but the exhaustion is beginning to take its toll and he’s reminded of those terrible months directly following the attack. The one plus side is that when he finally stumbles into his room at 4 am, vision blurry from rune overuse, even nightmares can’t keep him from passing out. Which is good because it’s only 10 am and Alec’s already nodding off.

‘We really must stop meeting like this, shadowhunter,’ says a teasing voice.

Alec’s eyes snap open to the High Warlock of Brooklyn an inch too close for comfort. The other man is wearing some sort of teal glitter around his eyes that fades to purple that looks like some sort of bird-themed carnival mask

‘I’m not sleeping,’ says Alec a little too quickly to be convincing. ‘I was resting my eyes. I take our meetings very seriously.’

‘Relax,’ says Bane calmly. ‘I don’t think you’re slacking on the job. The simple fact that we have regular meetings shows me how seriously _you_ take it.’

Alec isn’t so tired that he misses the emphasis on _you_.

‘The Clave is committed to fostering positive relationships with the Downworld in this troubled time,’ he says quickly.

It’s not his best work but there are eyes everywhere in the Institute and the last thing Alec needs right now is the Clave thinking he’s making deals with downworlders.

‘Mmmmmm,’ says Bane raising one perfectly arched eyebrow.

Alec feels his face grow hot and snatches up a pile of papers in a futile attempt to hide his blush. Bane always makes Alec feel like he’s standing naked in front of the Clave.

‘We were planning on discussing the recent disappearances,’ he says rather desperately.

It’s beyond rude to take out a _stele_ in a business meeting with a Downworlder, never mind the High Warlock of Brooklyn but Alec feels the desperate urge to ask if he can refresh his _sleepless_ rune. He’s too tired to think straight and a conversation with the High Warlock is like playing chess with Jace.

Bane takes pity on him and doesn’t comment on Alec’s flustered state.

‘That is correct,’ he says. ‘I am happy to report that one of the missing warlocks turned out to be a false alarm, she simply ran away from home and has since been recovered.’

‘That is good to hear,’ says Alec, and he hopes that Bane can hear the sincerity in his voice. ‘I am sorry to return to more somber news but I assume you’ve heard about the missing werewolf?’

Bane’s face immediately closes off.

‘Yes I have,’ he says. ‘And I hear this is the closest we have come to having an eyewitness to an attack.’

‘Yes, the tail end of the attack was witnessed by a werewolf named Maia Roberts’ says Alec. ‘My sister Isabelle is speaking to her this afternoon.’

‘I know Ms. Roberts well,’ says Bane. ‘She is dedicated to her pack and she will stop at nothing to see her pack-sister home safe.’

‘A goal we all share,’ says Alec with a thin smile.

Exhaustion tugs at the edges of his mind but he forces it away. He needs to stay sharp.

‘Was your _parabatai_ present at the scene?’ asks Bane mildly.

Alec forces himself to breathe calmly. This is a test of some sort, even if he’s too tired to figure out what or why.

‘There is no evidence that confirms one way or another,’ he says, the party line. After a beat he adds, ‘I have reason to believe he was but there is no way to prove it.’

This is a dangerous game to play but Alec needs the downworlders, especially the leaders, to know that he’s sincere in his efforts. They all need to work together to find Valentine. They can’t afford to fight a war on two fronts. Alec can’t afford to back down from a test because he’s afraid of the consequences. For every inch of grudging respect he gains, he’s only one misstep away from losing it all.

‘I thank you for your candor,’ says Bane standing to go rather suddenly.

Alec scrambles up to see him out, knees protesting wildly.

‘I do hope they let you sleep every now and again, shadowhunter,’ says Bane as Alec has to steady himself on the door frame.

‘Three hours every other Thursday,’ says Alec dryly which startles a laugh out of Bane.

‘Then I expect you to be wide awake for next week’s meeting,’ he says as Alec opens the door out into the courtyard.

Safely out of reach of the cameras in his office, Alec steels himself for another risky move.

‘Would you like to meet outside of the Institute next time?’ he asks, voice quiet but firm.

‘Are you inviting yourself to my place, shadowhunter?’ asks Bane. ‘How forward!’

‘I-I’m not,’ stutters Alec before he realises that Bane is probably joking. ‘I understand that you may be more comfortable in a familiar environment.’

‘Well then,’ says Bane appraisingly. ‘How do you feel about sushi?’

Alec is still staring at him as a glittering portal takes the warlock away. After a few moments he shakes it off, refreshes his _sleepless_ rune and drags himself off to grab a bite to eat with Max before his next meeting.

* * *

 

‘She took samples,’ says Izzy with suppressed excitement.

It’s almost 10 pm and Alec is in Lydia’s room with Izzy and Raj. Max is asleep on his lap and Alec has a mere ten minutes before he needs to report for patrol.

‘Samples of what?’ Raj asks the question they’re all thinking.

Izzy rolls her eyes.

‘Samples from the scene, dumbass,’ she says. ‘Hair, blood, and dirt.’

‘So you can identify who was there?’ says Lydia.

‘And maybe where they’ve been,’ says Izzy. ‘Valentine’s people are ghosts, the more we know the better.’

‘Bane said that one of the warlocks was a false alarm,’ says Alec. ‘The blonde girl, Ariadne.’

‘I’ll take her off the map,’ says Raj. ‘Did you get any more off the werewolf?’

‘ _Maia_ was very helpful,’ says Izzy. ‘She also mentioned that she might have some more info for us. Her pack leader is law enforcement and he is looking for the missing girl too.’

‘Luke Garroway,’ says Alec. ‘I’m meeting with him later this week. I can speak with him then.’

‘That name sounds familiar,’ says Raj.

‘I’ve mentioned him before,’ says Alec. ‘He’s a prominent member of the Downworld in New York, along with Magnus Bane and Camille Belcourt, he’s a member of the Triad.’

‘Speaking of Belcourt,’ says Lydia.

‘Let’s not,’ says Raj.

Izzy doesn’t say anything, just frowns thoughtfully.

‘She’s not interested in playing nice with us if that’s what you mean,’ says Alec dryly.

‘I’d trust her about as far as I could throw her,’ says Raj.

Alec nods. ‘She’s selfish and egotistical,’ he adds. ‘She’s equally likely to side with Valentine out of self-preservation or spite.’

‘What about her second?’ asks Lydia.

‘He hates Shadowhunters but he cares about the clan,’ says Alec. ‘He’d work with us if it was worth his while I think.’

‘Are we seriously talking about facilitating a coup in the Downworld?’ asks Raj.

‘Not yet,’ says Lydia. ‘But if Belcourt won’t play ball, we’ll find someone who will.’

Alec rubs his aching temples. In theory this kind of meddling is the exact thing he’s trying to prevent. But Camille Belcourt is pure evil and the Clave isn’t doing anything about her. Maybe it’s their duty. Or maybe he just thinks that because he’s a Shadowhunter. Maybe he has no right to make these decisions. He’s too tired for this.

‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,’ he says. ‘I’ll talk to Garroway. Izzy you keep working on those samples. Hopefully we’ll have something new by the end of the week.’

Izzy, Raj, and Lydia share a look so quick that Alec almost misses it but no one stops him when he begins the slow process of extricating himself from his sleeping brother.

Izzy slowly moves to take Max from him.

‘Alec,’ she says. ‘Be careful.’

‘I’m always careful,’ he says, eyes on Max’s face, calm in sleep. ‘I have someone to be careful for, people to come home to.’

* * *

 

Patrol is brutal. The other shadowhunters mostly ignore Alec except for the occasional snide comment but tonight not only did Rosemarc’s cronies decide to taunt him about how he could barely keep his eyes open, but they had to chase a hoard of _Ilbis_ demons through the sewers and now Alec needs to clean his bow before the smell sinks in permanently.

He stumbles into his room, bow clutched in numb hands only to be brought up short by Izzy and Max asleep on his bed. He bypasses the light switch entirely, heading straight to the small bathroom, shedding layers of stinking clothing as he goes.

The water in the shower is ice cold but even that isn’t enough to snap Alec out of his stupor. His clothes lie in a damp pile as far away from him in the tiny shower as he can push them. His bow is laid gently across the sink, where he won’t accidentally trip on it later. Alec knows that he should rinse his clothes now but even the thought of bending down to get them seems too much.

Several minutes after he begins to shiver, he finally makes himself move. With one hand he retrieves the bow while dropping the wet sludge-covered pile in the sink with his other hand. He’ll regret it in the morning but he’s too tired to care. He tugs on boxers and a t-shirt and makes his way carefully over to the bed where he all but collapses. It takes him two tries to get through the runes to restore his bow to its formerly pristine state as his hands are shaking with exhaustion. When he’s finally done, he dispels the bow and falls into bed next to his siblings who don’t even twitch.

* * *

 

_‘The girl is your priority boy,’ says a deep voice. ‘If you forget, a reminder can be arranged.’_

_Alec feels ice cold. He’s wearing little more than rags and his bare feet are painfully chilled against the metal floor. He feels nauseous and dizzy. He’s just barely recovered from his last ‘reminder’._

_‘I won’t forget father,’ he says._

_‘No more mistakes,’ says the man. ‘We are too close to our goals now.’_

_‘How do things proceed in Idris father?’ he asks cautiously._

_He gets a backhand to the face that sends him to the floor._

_‘You do not question my orders. Your part is here. Jonathan will take care of matters in Idris.’_

_‘Yes father,’ says Alec spitting out hot blood._

_‘Now pull yourself together, boy,’ orders the man harshly. ‘The mission leaves at 0400 and you will not fail me again.’_

_‘Yes sir,’ says Alec._

_‘I love you son,’ says the man softening slightly. ‘That is why I am so harsh on you.’_

_‘To love is to destroy,’ recites Alec._

_‘And to love is to be destroyed,’ finishes the man._

* * *

 

Alec jolts awake to a blaring noise and a throbbing pain in his head. At first he thinks it’s an institute alarm, that they’re under attack, but he quickly realizes that it’s his phone, the one Izzy got him. Next to him, Izzy blinks blearily, one arm thrown protectively over Max. Alec picks up.

‘Where did you get this number?’ he demands.

No answer. The only thing he can hear on the other end is static and vague shouting.

Alec is about to hang up when suddenly a voice snaps into sharp focus.

‘ _Fan out and find them. Do what you like with the boy but the girl stays unharmed_!’

Alec drops the phone.

‘Jace?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry about the cliffhanger guys! 
> 
> Next chapter includes, even more plotting, Clave bullshit, mysterious clues, a new introduction, and the return of a familiar face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey angels, I ended up breaking this chapter up into two chapters because of length. I'm back in school as of this week so I'm unsure if this fic is going to be on an every Wednesday or an every other Wednesday update schedule but I should know by next week. 
> 
> As always, enjoy.

‘It was him Izzy’ insists Alec. His hand strays to his cheek as he remembers his dream. 

‘I’m not saying it wasn’t Alec,’ says Izzy. ‘But why now? Why call? Why didn’t you feel him? It’s fishy.’

They’re speaking under cover of a  _ soundless _ rune, waiting for Lydia and Raj. It’s still dark and the institute is running on the night skeleton crew for another hour which means they should be about to sneak in without much fuss. 

‘I don’t care,’ explodes Alec. ‘Valentine is hurting him Izzy. You didn’t feel it.’

Izzy flinches and Alec feels like a monster. 

‘I just don’t want to lose you too, Alec,’ she says. ‘Besides, we don’t even know where he is.’

Alec shakes his head. 

‘They’ll be long gone by the time we track them down,’ he says bitterly. ‘But maybe he left a message or something.’ 

‘But how are we gonna track him?’ asks Izzy. ‘Our tracking doesn’t work and you know we can’t run that call here. Aldertree would be all over it.’

‘I don’t know,’ says Alec rather desperately. ‘But he called for a reason and we need to help him.’ 

‘We will,’ says Izzy a little too quickly. Alec can hear the ragged edge in her voice and he’s reminded that Jace may not be her  _ parabatai _ but he is her brother. Alec pulls her into a clumsy hug. 

‘Are we interrupting?’ asks Lydia quietly, poking her head in from the hall. 

Raj pushes past her. 

‘I, for one, did not sneak through the halls at 4 am to be told to wait outside for the sap fest to end,’ he says. ‘Push over.’

‘Dickhead,’ says Izzy fondly.

* * *

Raj and Lydia have all the same points as Izzy and Alec has to duck out at one point so he doesn’t start yelling at them. He knows that they aren’t ganging up on him on purpose but it’s hard not to feel like he’s the only one taking this seriously so he sits on the floor in his bathroom and runes his half-ruined clothes clean. 

‘Can we even find the location?’ Lydia is asking. ‘We can’t run the call here, so what are our options?’

‘A warlock?’ offers Izzy.

‘You trust a  _ warlock _ to not sell you out to the highest bidder?’ says Raj.

‘What are they gonna say?’ Izzy shoots back. ‘A shadowhunter asked them to find the sight of a suspected kidnapping? How is that suspicious?’

_ That is it _ , thinks Alec.  _ I should have just handled it myself _ .

He drops the clothes and pushes himself up.  Raj is rolling his eyes at Izzy but Alec cuts in before the older boy can speak.

‘I’ll reach out to my contacts in the Downworld and Izzy will do the same,’ he says in a tone that invites no argument. ‘Raj and Lydia, you two need to keep an ear out for anything around here. It would surprise me if Aldertree  _ didn’t _ have measures in place for tracking J-Jace. It may just be a matter of getting that info.’ 

The three of them frown at him like he’s said something unreasonable or nonsensical. 

‘What?’ he snaps unable to keep the edge out of his voice. 

‘You just seem awfully ... calm considering how ... worked up you were a few moments ago,’ says Lydia. 

‘I know what matters to me,’ says Alec simply. ‘All I care about is getting Jace home. If that means doing it the slow way then so be it.’

As he turns to finish with his discarded clothing he hears Raj say, ‘We need to watch him. He might sound reasonable but the second we turn our backs he’ll go haring off to save Jace or die trying.’ 

Raj is not wrong but he’s not right either. Alec isn’t feeling nearly as measured about the situation as his words might imply but he’s not going to jump into the first suicide mission he stumbles upon either.  He was serious when he said he had people to come home to and as much as Jace’s continued absence is killing him, he won't risk destroying the fragile family he's managed to piece back together for Max and Izzy from the ashes.

* * *

Alec spends the next three days playing the waiting game. He doesn’t sleep. He can’t possibly cope with the idea of seeing Jace in pain and knowing that he can’t do anything, not now. He needs to keep his head clear. He can’t risk giving into his more reckless emotions.

Aldertree is watching him and he’s going crazy cooped up in the institute except for the hellish overnight patrols. He longs for the the bookstore and the comfort of being surrounded by ignorant mundanes. He hasn’t been able to go see Simon since that last confusing conversation but he won’t risk drawing the Clave’s attention to another one of Alec’s weaknesses. He’s learned a lot in the past year and even though the Clave is supposed to leave mundanes alone, there’s no guarantee that they will. 

Instead Alec counts down the days to his meeting with Luke Garroway and considers how best to broach the subject of tracking Jace without sounding like he’s demanding anything. The werewolves have methods of tracking that they Clave can’t replicate and they don’t rely on magic, which has already failed to produce Jace’s location. 

As it turns out, all of Alec’s concern with careful phrasing is wasted because when Luke Garroway stumbles into Alec’s office on Friday morning, he looks like he’s gotten even less sleep than Alec has. Maia Roberts slinks in behind him and normally Alec would at least make a token protest that Luke shouldn’t have brought a Second without clearing them with the Clave, but Garroway looks like he could fall over with the slightest breeze. Alec knows that look.

‘Who?’ he asks simply. 

‘His partner and her kid,’ says Maia briskly. ‘I told him he should cancel. He’s in no shape for this meeting.’

Alec nods offering Garroway a hand gently. 

‘I'm so sorry Mr. Garroway. Take as much time as you need.’ he says. To Maia he adds, ‘I am assuming you will be my contact with the pack in his stead?’

Maia looks briefly surprised straightening her back and nodding. 

‘If you feel comfortable sharing details of these disappearances, we will do anything we can to help you,’ he says. 

Maia looks hesitant, ‘There are things better left unsaid,’ she says after a moment. ‘Especially in these walls.’ 

Alec nods. ‘Feel free to send us anything you feel comfortable sharing.’

‘It’s complicated,’ says Maia. 

Alec can see that she’s getting more agitated with each passing moment. 

‘Alec Lightwood,’ says Garroway looking up suddenly, eyes wolf-yellow. ‘Find Joce and Clary and I’ll be indebted to you.’

Alec makes the sudden connection that Maia's anxiety is related to her alpha's mental state.

‘Fuck,’ hisses she under her breath. ‘I told you this was a bad idea Luke.’

Garroway's nails begin to extend to claws and Alec realizes that this could go badly very quickly. He only has a split second to make a decision so he slips out his  _ stele _ , saying a pray to the angel in his head . Maia must hear it somehow because she whips around covering the distance between them in less than a breath. Alec has just enough time to sketch out a  _ soundless _ and a  _ cover _ rune onto the wall before he’s slammed up into it with Maia’s hand around his wrist. 

‘You should trade tips with Lydia,’ he says hoarsely. 

‘Drop it!’ she says. 

Alec does so and she lets him go. 

‘What the fuck was that?’ demands Maia. 

‘Cover,’ says Alec. ‘I couldn’t exactly announce it.’ 

‘Why would you do that?’ she asks. 

‘Because the Inquisitor barging in to arrest the distraught head of the New York pack is not something I need or want?’ says Alec. After a beat he adds, ‘Nor is it something he deserves.’

‘I’m not apologising,’ says Maia quickly. ‘But thanks.’

Over on the other side of the room Garroway looks up again and meets Alec’s eyes. This time his own eyes are brown and they seem to look straight into Alec’s soul, where the hole left by Jace’s absence is. The place where thoughts that Alec is ashamed of thinking live. 

‘You would know,’ the werewolf says tiredly. ‘You would know if he betrayed you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to converge now, it's only a matter of time before all of our characters come together
> 
> Next chapter, the long awaited next meeting of Malec and more clues


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG guys, this isn't as bad as my last huge gap but yikes! I should probably stop pretending that I can post on any sort of regular schedule lol. 
> 
> I had a very hard time with the next few chapters, partly because of writers block and partly because I have a lot of writing to do for all of my classes. I know I said that Malec was going to meet again in this chapter but I had to move it around for pacing :(
> 
> That being said, this is basically 1000 words of sibling bonding between Alec and Izzy and I think we needed that right now.

The next day, Alec can’t get Luke Garroway’s words out of his mind. The alpha sounded so certain and no matter how much Maia had tried to pass it off as ravings of a grieving man, Alec  _ knows _ there’s something else going on. He tries to keep his mind on his paperwork and his upcoming meeting with Magnus Bane but something keeps nagging at the back of his mind. 

‘Come on Alec,’ says Izzy when he tells her that something is bothering him. ‘It’d be weirder if you felt good. Everything is totally fucked.’

Alec gives her a pointed look gesturing to Max who’s laying a few feet away. 

‘He’s asleep,’ says Izzy dismissively. ‘You know I wouldn’t bring up Valentine if he wasn’t.’

He’s impressed that she can say the name without flinching. He’s continually awed by just how strong his sister is. 

‘Have we gotten anywhere with the information Maia sent us?’ he asks. 

Izzy purses her lips. ‘Raj and I are running down a few leads but it’s not much to go on.’

‘There’s something we’re missing,’ says Alec. ‘Garroway said something before he left that— I don’t know. This is a lot more complicated than it seems.’ 

‘And it’s pretty complicated at first glance,’ says Izzy. ‘Lydia managed to get copies of some old files from around the time right before the circle imploded.’

‘And you think they’ll help?’ asks Alec. 

He doesn’t really understand what Izzy’s after with her historical documents but he knows better than to question her. She sees patterns in things that he can’t even begin to imagine. 

‘I’m close Alec,’ she says. ‘I can almost see it.’

‘And what about our missing girl and the call from— Jace?’ Alec asks. 

‘Nothing yet,’ she says. ‘We’re trying to find a way to sneak it past Aldertree but until then... Hey, maybe you can ask Magnus Bane!’

‘I’m sure the High Warlock of Brooklyn has better things to do than track down a phone call for some shadowhunters,’ says Alec. 

‘But he’s not too busy to go to lunch with you?’ asks Izzy with the barest trace of a smile. 

Alec embarrassingly finds himself blushing. 

‘Izzy,’ he admonishes. ‘It’s a meeting, for work. I’m trying to put him at ease.’

‘MMhhhhmm,’ says Izzy with a knowing look. 

For some reason that reminds Alec of wanting to ask her about Simon from the bookstore. He needs to stop by the bookstore or at least call the other boy. 

‘How do you know when someone is interested in you?’ he blurts out. 

Izzy blinks. 

‘Alec?’ she says leaning in. ‘Details!’

‘There aren’t any details,’ he mumbles. ‘It’s just hard when ...’ 

‘When you don’t know if they’re straight?’ asks Izzy.

‘Yeah that,’ says Alec. 

‘Can you tell me anything else?’ she presses. ‘It really does depend on the situation.’ 

‘He just ... he asked me for my number,’ says Alec hesitantly. ‘But ... it was for a book, for an order ... and he talked about a girl before so—’

‘Let me jump in right there and say that that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested,’ says Izzy. ‘He could be bi or pan.’

Alec cocks his head. Sometimes he envies her. She seems so at ease in this other world, one where he feels like he should belong but doesn’t. For the first time he wonders if maybe Izzy is like him too.

‘That’s liking both right?’ he asks. 

His retreat into the mundane world was informative. 

‘Or all,’ says Izzy. ‘Guys, girls, nonbinary people, etc.’

‘Is the last one a seelie thing?’ he asks thinking of a seelie knight he once met who was neither male nor female. His mother had demanded an immediate replacement envoy, saying that such a thing was unnatural. 

‘Not just,’ says Izzy smiling thinly. 

He wonders if she’s thinking of the same incident he is. 

‘You’re so much more ...’ he pauses struggling to find the right words. 

Izzy shrugs with a sad smile.

‘You were the investment kid Alec,’ she says. ‘I’m not saying I didn’t resent you but ... I had more room because mom gave up me. I was always more neglected than repressed.’

Suddenly Alec wants to tell her every single detail of his mundane adventures, every solitary moment she missed when they weren’t speaking. 

Instead he says, hesitantly, ‘I feel bad about knowing I can be more free now.’

‘Alec,’ says Izzy so gently that he almost wants to throw himself into her arms. 

‘It’s ...’ his breath stutters. ‘Hard.’

He struggles to hold onto his composure in the face of the immensity of his grief. 

Izzy seems to sense that he’s wavering on the edge because she gives a smirk that doesn’t quite reach her eyes and says, ‘Is that what you’re going to tell Magnus Bane?’

He sputters.

‘About his dick, I mean. Or yours, whatever,’ she adds. ‘I don’t really need to be thinking about that.’

‘Izzy,’ Alec hisses. ‘It’s not a business meeting—No, I mean it  _ is _ a business meeting. Fuck!’

‘Mmmm, you’re blushing,’ she teases licking her lips. Her face darkens just a bit as she adds, ‘Jace would be having a field day.’

‘If he could pull his head out of his ass long enough to notice,’ says Alec with strained laugh.

It was a running joke between the siblings that Jace was so wrapped up in his own romantic drama, he could never be counted on to keep track of his siblings’ love lives. Once he had memorably called one of Izzy’s lovers by the wrong name, resulting in a broken nose for Jace, a slap in the face for the lover, courtesy of Izzy, and a huge lecture for Alec from his parents on the evils of ‘letting’ his siblings ‘debase’ themselves. 

‘We’ll get him back,’ says Izzy quietly. ‘No matter what it takes.’

‘I’m more afraid that he won’t be  _ him _ anymore,’ admitted Alec. 

He isn't sure just how much Izzy remembers of Jace when he first came to stay with them, all bruises and defiance, afraid to let anyone close enough to hurt him again. 

‘I’m not the same person I was,’ says Izzy. ‘And neither are you. We’ll remind him of what matters. We’ll bring him home.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows when the next chapter will be up (sorry guys) but at least there's no cliffhanger this time. This is sort of a set up chapter and the next two or three chapters are where the shit really hits the fan. so enjoy the calm before the storm :)
> 
> Thanks for all your support and feedback angels. You keep me writing <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A chapter after just one week? Who am I? I don't even know anymore. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind comments. They make my day when I read them. 
> 
> This chapter is the long awaited return of Magnus, and Alec and Magnus' work 'date' but expect things to go wrong, as things tend to do :)

The next day Alec wakes up to find that Izzy has laid out clothes for him with a note that says _Got to dress to impress. P.S. Magnus Bane isn’t straight!_

He can’t help but laugh softly and Max rolls over in his sleep. The clothes are tamer than he might have expected from Izzy. He should know better by now. She might tease him but she knows what he would and wouldn’t wear out in public. She’s picked out a dark green sweater that was a birthday gift from his siblings a few years ago. He’s only work it once because he wants to keep it nice but it’s soft and warm and perfect for blending in.

For the moment he bypasses Izzy’s pile of clothes in favor of his workout gear. Izzy herself is gone; they sleep in the same bed most nights lately but keep wildly different schedules. She’s probably doing research with Raj and Lydia as Izzy’s shift doesn’t start until midday. For Alec’s part, he’s just grateful Rosemarc is finally off leave and Alec has time to sleep again.

Alec heads for the training room and is surprised to find Lydia already there.

‘I thought you’d be with Raj and Izzy,’ he says when she gets close enough that he doesn’t need to raise his voice.

‘They’re running numbers,’ says Lydia with a small tight smile. ‘Not my speciality so I thought I get in some training while it was still quiet around here.’

‘It’s never quiet around here,’ teases Alec but he can tell that something is bothering her.

He imagines it must be lonely. Lydia spends all day following the Inquisitor around and running errands for Aldertree. The others resent her success, won’t eat with her, probably don’t talk to her. And on top of it all, she’s plotting a coup and pretending to being falling in love with Alec. No wonder she looks unhappy.

‘Wanna spar?’ he asks.

He can almost see her calculating in her head, how it will look from the outside, if it will help or hurt the persona she’s cultivated so carefully.

‘Okay,’ she says at last. ‘That sounds good.’

‘Don’t expect me to go easy on you,’ he warns teasingly.

‘You wish Lightwood,’ she teases back. ‘I’m going to kick your fine ass.’

* * *

 

Alec’s hair is still wet when he heads out to meet Magnus Bane. He could have dried it with a rune, Izzy certainly would have but of the three of them, Alec is the least likely to use runes for mundane purposes. He did seriously consider using his _iratze_ to banish the bruises Lydia left him with but he skipped that too. He’s still too worn down to waste energy. If anything were to happen, he’d need all the power he can possibly spare.

He unfolds the fire-message once he gets on the subway. It has an address on it and a smear of black glitter which has infected Alec’s desk, leaving traces on all his papers. He looked up the address on his phone and it apparently belongs to a Thai restaurant on the edge of Brooklyn. It’s not particularly close to the bookstore but Alec calls Simon anyway. The phone rings and rings before the answering machine picks up and Alec has no idea what to say so he just hangs up without leaving a message.

Reassured that he is going to the right place, Alec refolds the paper and keeps his eye on the stops so he doesn’t miss his. Alec told his sister the truth about wanting to make Magnus Bane feel more at ease but he can’t deny how good it feels to get out of the Institute. Ever since Aldertree set his sights on Alec, it’s been impossible to sneak away. The only time he’s made it out in the past few weeks is for patrols.

When he gets to restaurant, Magnus Bane is already waiting for him there. Bane is wearing an elaborate red and black coat that’s folded up into little triangles in some places which cascade in confusing spirals. Bane’s jewelry is tamer than usual, just a delicate gold chain and his customary rings.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of black, shadowhunter,’ says Bane when Alec gets close enough.

‘My sister picked out the sweater,’ says Alec. ‘And please call me Alec. This is a meeting but we don’t need to stand on ceremony.’

‘Isn’t that the purpose of the Clave?’ asks Bane, which sounds like a trap.

‘I have come to believe that there is a time and place for formality but it doesn’t make foundations for good friendships.’

‘And is that what you think this is?’ Bane turns away dismissively, coat rustling.

‘I hope it could be someday,’ says Alec honestly. ‘I know it may take some time to believe but I really do want to support the Downworld as best as I can.’

Bane scoffs. ‘That’s awfully lofty for a lunch meeting. I hope you plan on picking up the bill.’

‘I wouldn’t be a very good date if I didn’t,’ says Alec uncharacteristically bold.

That gets him a genuine laugh.

‘I should take you out of your Institute cage more often,’ says Bane leading Alec into the very back of the restaurant where a small table has been set up for them.

‘What do you recommend?’ asks Alec squinting at a menu. There is brightly colored pictures of plates of food but no descriptions.

‘How do you feel about spice?’ asks Bane, one perfectly manicured brown raised challengingly.

‘Great,’ says Alec because everything with Bane feels like a test and he’s determined to pass with flying colors.

‘They make an excellent _Gaeng Kheaw Wan Gai_ ,’ says Bane with a smile that shows off his perfect teeth.

Alec nods noncommittally trying to determine what the best course of action is here.

' _Gaeng_ means curry right?’ he asks after a beat. He utterly mangles the pronunciation but Bane looks maybe a little bit impressed.

‘It’s a green curry with chicken,’ he says. ‘It’s very spicy. You might also go for the Panang curry. That’s sweeter, a little less intense.’

‘Which is the one that’s more like Indian curry?’ asks Alec. ‘That’s my sister’s favorite.’

‘Massaman,’ says Bane. ‘The more I hear about this sister of yours, the more interesting she sounds.’

‘I think I’ll get that,’ says Alec. ‘And some of that salad with the unripe fruit. I can never remember what it’s called.’

‘ _Som Tam_ , supplies Bane. ‘I must say, you are adventurous for a shadowhunter.’

‘That’s mostly my siblings,’ says Alec. ‘I was quite a ‘stick-in-the-mud’ as my sister would say until quite recently.’

‘Which brings us back to business,’ says Bane. ‘I’m sure you’ve heard that Luke Garroway’s partner and daughter have gone missing.’

‘Yes, of course,’ says Alec. ‘The Institute is doing what they can to help but Maia Roberts was ... understandably reluctant to hand over any personal information about her alpha.’

Bane purses his lips.

‘Maia has told me that your sister has been asking for any information about the original Circle, may I ask why?’ he says.

Alec who has been expecting this to come up since Izzy started spreading the word has an answer ready to go but something makes him pause.

‘Two reasons,’ he admits. ‘Officially, she’s collecting the information to see if any of them can be traced to Valentine’s current activity but unofficially, she believes that the past somehow holds answers to our present problems.’

‘I really must meet this sister of yours,’ says Bane.

‘You probably already have,’ says Alec. ‘She goes to your club often, or ... she used to.’

‘If my club is what brought your sister to Brooklyn, what is it that draws you here so often?’ asks Bane.

Fuck. Alec should have thought of this. Just because the Institute didn’t have eyes on him, didn’t mean no one was watching.

‘Books,’ he blurts out. ‘I like to read. I started reading Mundane books after— after everything happened.’

Bane looks at him appraisingly.

‘Has your sister discovered anything of note?’ he asks after a beat of silence.

‘Not yet,’ says Alec relieved to be back on safer ground. ‘But she says she’s close and I don’t doubt it. She doesn’t have much to go on but she’s brilliant and if she says it’s there, then it must be.’

‘Surely the Institute has extensive records on the Circle,’ says Bane inscrutably.

 _In for a penny_ , thinks Alec.

‘I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m not the Clave’s favorite person right now,’ he says. ‘Between my— my parents and my p- _parabatai_ , my siblings and I don’t enjoy a whole lot of freedom in the Institute.’

‘Alexander Lightwood,’ says Bane suddenly looking straight at Alec. ‘You are not what I expected.’

‘Better I hope,’ says Alec barely able to speak under the force of the other man’s gaze.

‘There is some things you should know,’ says Bane almost hesitantly. ‘They aren’t all my secrets to tell but you need—’

He is cut off by his phone ringing. He stiffens.

‘I’m sorry but it only rings for emergencies, I need to take this.’

Alec nods and begins to get up to give Bane some privacy when his own phone begins to ring. He frowns, suddenly he has a very bad feeling about this. He picks up.

‘Alec,’ says Lydia. ‘You know I wouldn’t call unless it was an emergency, but we have a situation.’

‘What kind of situation?’ asks Alec shoving away the panic that threatens to overtake him.

Behind him, Bane is speaking rapidly into his own phone.

‘A hostage situation,’ says Lydia. ‘Camille Belcourt has taken a Mundane hostage and is threatening to turn him if she is not given the Mortal Cup by nightfall.’

‘What the fuck,’ says Alec because what else can one say to that.

‘I know,’ says Lydia with feeling. ‘It gets worse. Since you’re the liaison, Aldertree wants you to handle this. Your orders are to find out what Belcourt knows about the cup and deal with the Mundane.’

‘Deal with?’ echoes Alec.

‘I think you know what I’m getting at,’ says Lydia. ‘Contain the situation as it were.’

‘Yeah, I think I get it,’ says Alec anger leeching into his voice even though he knows it’s not even _her_ talking. She’s just repeating what Aldertree has told her to say.

‘I’m on it,’ he says wearily. ‘What’s the backup situation?’

‘Raj, Ava and your sister will get there when they can but they’re on duty for two more hours and there’s no official backup coming.’

She sounds frustrated.

‘Of course there isn’t,’ says Alec. ‘I’m at my meeting with Magnus Bane right now, in Brooklyn. Can you get me a portal back to Manhattan?’

‘No need,’ says Lydia. ‘The Mundane was grabbed from a bookstore near Prospect Park.’

Alec’s blood runs ice cold.

‘Simon!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! You knew it was coming. It's been a while since a major one and I do so love them!
> 
> Next chapter drama, intrigue, kidnapping, vampires, and Clave bullshit. 
> 
> I'll be away next week so there may or may not be a chapter. If not, it should be up the following Wednesday.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter, this is getting scary!
> 
> That's the good news, the bad news is that since I'm planning on doing NaNoWriMo, this fic will likely be on hiatus until November ends. 
> 
> I hope you guys will stick around because there's some exciting stuff still to come. As it stands, this fic is about halfway done. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and your reviews give me life. I'll catch you on the flipside <3

Alec puts his phone away in numb shock. This is all his fault. He should have known better than to think he could get involved with a Mundane without consequences.

‘I gather from the look on your face that your call was also bad news?’ says Bane shaking Alec out of his stupor.

‘Uh ... yeah,’ says Alec. ‘There’s a vampire situation, with Si— a Mundane.’

Bane’s eyes sharpen.

‘How do you know Simon Lewis?’ he demands.

‘What?’ Alec asks, sure he’s heard wrong for a second. ‘How do _you_ know Simon. He’s Mundane. I checked.’

‘Lewis isn’t the one with ties to the Shadow-world,’ says Bane quickly. ‘I’ll explain later. What’s important right now is that we have another missing Warlock and a hostage situation that’s about to turn into an inter-Downworld battle.’

Alec has about a million questions but he smothers all of them and focuses on the matter at hand. There’ll be time for question when Simon’s safe.’

‘Lydia Branwell informed me that Simon was grabbed from the bookshop where he works,’ he says. ‘We might be able to track him from there.’

‘Oh I know exactly where _dear_ Camille will take him,’ snarls Bane. The air almost crackles and he gets himself under control with visible effort. ‘But we should check the bookshop for signs of Dorothea before they fade.’

‘The warlock,’ says Alec. ‘Do we think Valentine is behind her disappearance like the others?’

‘Rafe says that she was gone before they got there and I trust him,’ says Bane. ‘How are you with portal travel?’

‘Fine,’ says Alec. ‘But then how does Camille factor into it? Does she want the Cup for Valentine or for herself? And why take a Mundane? She must know what the Clave’s orders would be.’

‘Oh you can stop beating yourself up right now little Nephilim,’ says Bane, gesturing for Alec to follow him out a side door. ‘Camille didn’t take him because of you; She took him because of Luke.’

 _What does Luke Garroway have to do with a Mundane bookseller?_ Alec wants to ask. He doesn’t.

‘So we need to handle this before the wolves get involved,’ he says instead. He is painfully aware that worried though Bane may be, he is also undoubtedly noticing how Alec behaves in a crisis.

‘And before the Clave mucks it up,’ says Bane challengingly.

Alec gives a humorless smile as the portal begins to take shape in front of them.

‘I’m all the Clave we’re getting until my sister finishes her shift and sneaks away with _my_ people,’ he says. ‘And my priority is getting Simon out and keeping the peace as best as I can.’

If Bane notices that Alec leads with Simon’s safety, he doesn’t comment on it.

‘After you,’ he says simply nodding at the portal.

Alec grabs hold of his memories of the bookstore until his recollection seems to blot out all his other thoughts. He is so focused on his destination that he doesn’t realise that the invitation to go first was another test until after he’s stepped into the portal.

* * *

When Alec emerges, he takes a breath to collect himself, eyes closed and hands braced against the wall. When he opens his eyes, he can’t help but gasp; the bookstore is destroyed. It looks as though a bomb has gone off and he’s standing in the middle of a burnt-out shell.

Bane emerges from the portal in that moment, wavering almost imperceptibly. Alec considers asking if the warlock is well, but decides that it would probably be interpreted the wrong way. He doesn’t want to insinuate that he doubts Bane’s abilities or power. Instead he waits until the warlock has fully collected himself before beginning to speak.

‘Clearly there was an explosion of some kind,’ he says. ‘But I can’t tell if it was demonic in origin without a rune.’

‘No need,’ says Bane dully. ‘It’s _hellfire_. This explosion was designed to erase any traces that could have been used to track poor Dorothea. We should go. There’s nothing more we can do for her here.’

Alec nods eyes drawn helplessly to the ruin of his sanctuary from the horrors of his everyday life. He feels like crying but he forces it away. There are more important things to deal with right now like—

‘Wait!’ he shouts, too loud in the small empty space.

Bane turns to give him an impatient glare. ‘Portals are not—’

Alec cuts him off.

‘Simon couldn’t have survived a _hellfire_ explosion this large,’ he says quickly. ‘And no way does Camille Belcourt have a warlock who can conjure _hellfire_ on this scale.’

‘They were waiting for us,’ says Bane catching on immediately. ‘They’re still here.’

Alec yanks out his _stele_ and manifests his bow and quiver not a second too soon. Behind him he hears the telltale sound of a _sereph_ blade igniting and he whirls to face it.

There are two men dressed in all black, Circle brand stark on their necks. Underneath the white hot rage, Alec can hear the sound of fighting and knows that Bane must be facing Circle members of his own.

Alec puts an arrow into the one on the left then drops his bow to draw his own _sereph_ blade. The clash of the blades reverberates all the way down his arm but Alec doesn’t let it slow him down. He knows how dangerous it is to fight angry but he can’t help the fury that threatens to overwhelm him. He slashes at the larger man, forcing him back.

‘Got some fight in you boy?’ sneers the man. ‘Didn’t get that from your cowardly parents.’

Alec lunges with a wordless snarl. The man easily deflects and Alec futilely tries to get himself back under control.

‘Shut up,’ he yells. ‘Shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you!’

The situation is spiraling wildly out of control but it’s like the anger has possessed him and he can’t stop it.

‘Where was that fighting spirit in the battle I wonder?’ taunts the man. ‘Oh that’s right, you weren’t there.’

Alec is beyond words. He’s too angry to speak, too angry to breath.

He feints left and slashes low, slicing through the other man’s pant leg and drawing a thin line of blood that fills Alec with a dark satisfaction.

The man snarls at him then leans in close, using his bulk to box Alec in.

‘Your traitorous mother begged for your life,’ he whispers. ‘Right before Valentine slit her throat.’

The words hit Alec like a punch in the gut. He can’t breathe. The man’s arm is suddenly across his throat. His back hits a bookshelf hard, sharp ends digging into his skin.

‘How many more people will sacrifice themselves for you?’ asks the man with rotting sincerity. ‘Your mother, your father, your sniveling _parabatai_ ...’

Alec struggles to get his blade up, struggles to drag in air, to breathe.

‘Who’s next, your sister? Your brother?’

Alec hisses, furious. His hands are going numb but he knows better than to drop his blade.

‘Valentine has plans for you, Lightwood,’ says the man reluctantly backing off.

Alec collapses half choking on his breath. He forces himself up before he’s ready, blade up. This is no time to waver.

‘Why’d you wait for us?’ he croaks. ‘What do you want?’

‘So arrogant,’ says the man over his shoulder as he strides away. ‘Our sacred purpose is to rid the world of demon-spawn scum.’

Alec struggles to make sense of the words wishing not for the first time that these fanatics would just say what they meant. Demon-spawn, Downworlders, Bane. Shit.

The man in black pulls out a crossbow and Alec’s blood freezes.

‘Bane! BANE!’ he shouts, his throat burns with pain.

Bane is surrounded by fallen Circle members, still locked in combat with two stragglers. He whirls at Alec’s shout, expertly blocking a blade as he does so.

Alec is an archer. He knows just how accurate a crossbow is, and how powerful. The memory of the man in black’s taunts resurfaces. _How many more? None._

Alec lunges for the man in black, there isn’t enough time to disarm him but there’s just enough time to give him a new target. The arrow hits Alec near his shoulder, breaking bone and punching through to his back. The pain is so great that Alec blacks out instantly, only coming back to himself after he’s already hit the ground. He’s grateful for small mercies, the impact was probably devastating.

The air shimmers red and gold and suddenly Bane is right there.

‘You fucking idiot,’ he snaps. ‘You think this title is just for show! I do not need some suicidal Nephilim to watch my back.’

He sounds pretty angry and Alec tries to explain.

‘Not ‘ow I meant it,’ he slurs.

‘Angel preserve us! Shut your damn mouth while I deal with this,’ snaps Bane. ‘Shadowhunters!’

He does something with his hands that steals Alec’s breath away it hurts so much. There are tears on Alec’s face but he feels safe. Bane might be angry but Alec knows the other man won’t let him die.

‘Tol’ you to call me Alec,’ he says figuring he can blame it on pain induced loopiness.

Bane smiles showing all of his teeth.

‘Well then, since you took an arrow for me— completely unnecessarily I might add— you might as well call me Magnus.’

And then he pulls the arrow out and all Alec knows is darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Alec's getting closer to the truth but it'll have to wait until Magnus deals with that pesky arrow. 
> 
> Coming up: we check in with a few players we haven't seen in a while, one friend is found and another is lost, and Camille does her level best to beat out Valentine, Aldertree and Imogene for most hated character.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm, hey guys. So I think it's safe to say that I took November off (and a bit more to boot lol). I'm working on my thesis right now so I don't have a huge amount of time or creative energy (especially since Shadowhunters is on hiatus) but I wanted to post this chapter at least and see how things go with regards to the next one. 
> 
> Heads up for suicidal thoughts and referenced child abuse 
> 
> Thanks for being patient with me guys.

_ Alec can hear the sound of dripping water. It pulls him out of blissful unconsciousness and back into his weak and aching body. He prides himself on his high pain tolerance, growing higher with each passing day, but right now it’s all he can do to lay on the ground and catalogue his many hurts. His right arm is fractured, maybe broken, there’s ugly bruises painted across his torso and back, probably broken ribs, and his breath rattles painfully in his chest with each trembling inhale. He tries to roll over onto his side, only to set off a fit of coughing that makes his whole body scream with pain.  _

_ ‘You shouldn’t move,’ says a small voice.  _

_ He whips his arms up, ready to fight in spite of the pain only to see the red-headed girl he helped kidnap last week, Clarissa.  _

_ He tries to ask her what the fuck she’s doing here, but his lungs refuse to take in enough air to form the words _

_ ‘I know this is probably some weird attempt at cultivating Stockholm syndrome or whatever,’ she says. ‘But you really shouldn’t move. My aunt is a nurse and she says that broken ribs can easily puncture a lung if you don’t stay still.’ _

_ ‘He won’t let me die,’ Alec finally croaks out.  _

_ She must be able to hear the note of longing in his voice because she crawls over to him, her eyes cautious but her mouth set.  _

_ ‘Is he really your father?’ she asks. _

_ Alec nods. ‘He raised me but I didn’t know what he was. He was in hiding, pretended to be someone else.’ _

_ ‘He says he’s my father too but I already have a father,’ says the girl. _

_ ‘I had a foster father,’ says Alec slowly. ‘But my father killed him, my foster mom too.’ _

_ Clarissa stares.  _

_ ‘That’s awful,’ she says after a long beat of silence. Then she offers, ‘My mom is in some kind of coma. None of the doctors know what’s wrong with her. She left me a note about a cup and a church but I didn’t know what it meant and neither did my dad, he’s a detective.’ _

_ Alec shakes his head urgently, ignoring the pain. ‘You can’t talk about the Cup,’ he says. ‘He might hear us, my father. He has ears everywhere. If he thinks you know anything, he’ll torture it out of you.’ _

_ ‘What kind of father—’ She cuts herself off abruptly, taking in his appearance and injuries. ‘He isn’t my father, or your father either,’ she says hotly. ‘Fathers are supposed to love you and no one who loves you could ever hurt you like that.’ _

_ ‘To love is to destroy,’ Alec says, automatic and flat.  _

_ ‘Bullshit,’ says Clarissa. ‘Only a monster would teach you something that horrible.’ _

_ ‘It’s true,’ he insists. ‘I destroy everything I love, just look at my foster parents, the Institute, my parabatai.’ _

_ ‘I don’t know what half that means but I’m sure it isn’t true,’ she shoots back. ‘I’m your sister now and I’ll show you. Love makes you strong. You must have people you love.’ _

_ ‘My sister and my brothers,’ offers Alec cautiously. There’s no harm in telling her, Valentine already knows about them.  _

_ ‘Tell me about them,’ she orders. ‘If I’m your sister then they’re a little bit my siblings too.’ _

_ Alec almost smiles even though it hurts.  _

_ ‘Izzy has always wanted a sister,’ he says. ‘I think you’d like her, everyone likes her. She’s smart and pretty and perfect.’  _

_ Clarissa nods encouragingly pressing a little bit closer to him. _

_ ‘Tell me more,’ she says. _

* * *

Alec wakes up on a red brocade couch. His shoulder aches but he can move with only a little stiffness. Using his bow is going to hurt, but he’ll make it. Suddenly everything comes rushing back to him. Simon, Luke Garroway, and the vampires. 

‘Bane?’ he calls.

He pushes himself up without waiting for an answer. His body protests but he ignores it. He reaches for his  _ stele _ only to find that he’s wearing nothing but a loose pair of cotton pants. He blushes helplessly at the implication.

Bane— Magnus breezes into the room carrying a stack of clothes in one hand and a dagger in the other. 

‘I thought I told you to call me Magnus after your idiotic lifesaving— What are you doing up?’

‘I need my  _ stele _ ! We need to go!’ says Alec wondering if Magnus has somehow forgotten about Camille and Simon. 

‘You need food or you’ll pass out the moment you get moving,’ says Magnus. ‘I called my second and she’s at the scene. Her and Luke are ... old friends so she’s keeping him calm.’

‘And Simon?’ demands Alec. 

‘Camille sent proof of life about ten minutes ago. You’ve been out for less than an hour, which is damn near miraculous considering the damage to your shoulder.’ 

‘Thank you for healing me,’ says Alec. Then not wanting Magnus to get the wrong idea he adds, ‘I’m grateful you did, but you didn’t have to. I didn’t step in front of the arrow so you’d owe me.’

Magnus narrows his eyes. ‘So you think I would have left you bleeding out and in pain?’ he asks tartly. 

Alec shakes his head and then has to brace himself to fight off a wave of dizziness. ‘I’m making a mess of this,’ he says helplessly. ‘I just meant ... I don’t want you to think I expected anything of you. I know you didn’t owe it to me. That’s all.’

‘Lilith help me!’ mutters Magnus but he lets it go. ‘Your  _ stele _ is in the bathroom. Here are your pants. The shirt is mine. I’m afraid I couldn’t save your beautiful sweater.’

‘My sister will understand,’ says Alec. ‘Shadowhunters are pretty hard on clothes.’ 

‘I’ll get us some food while you change and then we can portal to the scene,’ says Magnus. 

‘How long do we have until nightfall?’ asks Alec.

‘Two hours and change,’ says Magnus. ‘And there’s already a plan in the works. I’ll explain it while we eat.’ 

‘Okay,’ says Alec, and he heads to the bathroom to change. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back! My thesis is all but done and I have time to write again for a hot sec. Don't worry, I know where I'm going and I'll eventually get to the end of this plotline lol. In the meantime, have another short chapter with lots of planning. 
> 
> The next chapter will be a battle but no promises on when that's coming because I still have to get through finals.
> 
> Thanks for reading and reviewing y'all <3

Alec doesn’t want to admit it, but Magnus is right; he feels significantly less off balance after eating a bowl of pasta, conjured from the place down the street. Alec should probably care more about the flagrant misuse of magic to toy with mundanes but he‘s hungry and they have bigger problems. They portal in a few blocks away from the Hotel DuMort to avoid tripping and alarms that Camille might have set. As they walk, Alec runs through the details of the plan one more time. 

‘So your contact with the vampires was able to get us blueprints but we aren’t a hundred percent on where Belcourt is holding Simon,’ he says.

‘Right,’ Magnus answers. ‘Once Lucian and I are inside the hotel, one of us should be able to track him but until then, we’re blind due to Camille’s wards.’

‘Will the wards come down when you subdue the warlock?’ 

‘Not automatically, I can bring them down but it may be time consuming. Easier to make a door and unravel them later when we aren’t on the clock.’ 

‘Maia and I will provide the distraction. Between the two of us, we should be able to draw a fair amount of attention.’ 

‘Catarina will help you as much as she can. The most important thing is the timing. As long as the sun is still up, the vampires won’t be able to come out and confirm your numbers or that Lucian and I are missing.’ 

‘Magnus!’ a tall black woman appears on the corner. ‘I was just about to call you. We lost contact with Rafe about five minutes ago’

Magnus stiffens. Whoever Rafe is, he’s more important to Magnus than just some contact. ‘Since you’re concerned, I assume it was under suspicious circumstances.’ 

The woman hands Magnus a fire-message, which he reads with tight lips. ‘There goes the element of surprise.’ 

He hands the message back to Alec wordlessly. He reads, ‘Camille suspects traitor, deflecting suspicion. Mundane is—’ the rest is nothing more than a smear of ink. His stomach clenches. 

Maia rounds the corner. ‘Cat did you reach— Oh Magnus, Lightwood.’

Alec nods at her. ‘So new plan?’

‘Luke is ready to go in himself, damn the consequences,’ says Maia tightly. ‘First Jocelyn’s coma, then her and Clary disappearing. He won’t lose Simon too.’ 

‘Nor will he have to,’ says Magnus. ‘Myself, Luke, and Alec and Maia— if you are both amenable— will go in.’ 

‘Alaric can handle the pack,’ says Maia. ‘You need us to get Rafe?’

‘Or Simon,’ says Magnus. ‘But they won’t be in the same place.’ 

‘We still need a distraction,’ says Alec suddenly realizing that ‘Rafe’ must be Raphael Santiago, Camille’s second. 

‘Leave that to me and Alaric,’ says the black woman, Cat. ‘We’ll lure them to the front and smash the windows behind them.’

‘Rafe will be in the tower,’ says Magnus. ‘Simon will most likely be in the dungeon.’

‘Luke will want to get Simon, says Maia. ‘You should go with him, Magnus. He’ll need healing.’

They wince. They’ll be lucky if healing is all he needs but no one wants to say it. 

‘Maia and I will go to the tower then,’ says Alec. ‘Will—’

He pauses trying to think of a tactful way to ask if Camille’s second will try to rip his throat out.

‘He knows me,’ says Maia. ‘It won’t be a problem.’ 

Alec nods gratefully and turns to the woman named Cat. He’s figured out by now that this is Caterina, Magnus’s second. ‘I’m Alec Lightwood, the Downworld liaison from the institute,’ he says. ‘But considering I’m about to illegally breach the stronghold of the head of the New York Vampire Clan with a bunch of Downworlders, it’s safe to say I’m not exactly operating in my official capacity.’

‘Catarina Loss,’ says the woman extending her hand with a raised eyebrow. 

Alec shakes her hand firmly. ‘My sister and three of my people will be here around sunset. They’ll follow your orders if I’m still inside.’ 

Catarina looks at Magnus who nods. 

‘I better not have trouble with your people Lightwood,’ she says. ‘I have other things to worry about.’

‘You won’t,’ says Alec. 

She holds his gaze for a long moment. Her glamour slides and he gets a glimpse of electric blue power before she spins on her heel shouting, ‘Look alive people! Magnus is here and the plan has changed.’

Magnus strides after her and Alec goes to follow but Maia grabs his arm.

‘Do you manhandle all your liaisons?’ he asks with a tight smile. 

‘Only the ones I like Shadowhunter,’ she smiles back at him with all of her teeth. ‘You gonna lose your head in there or are you gonna have my back?’

Alec raises an eyebrow rather than dignify that with an answer. After a beat he adds, ‘Depends, you gonna let Santiago gnaw on me?’

Maia laughs. ‘You got balls Lightwood. I’ll give you that.’ 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fight scenes are not my forte so this chapter gave me a lot of trouble, but it's longish which I hope makes up for its other faults :)  
> There's one, maybe two chapters left in this little arc and, in theory, there's three arcs total. Let's just say, when I say slow burn ... I'm not kidding lol. 
> 
> Still not beta read, so please be gentle.

It’s dark inside the hotel and Alec is thankful for his _voyance_ rune. He can hear faint sounds of battle far behind him, but he doesn’t let himself get distracted. He has another job tonight. The fragile relationships he’s built with Magnus and Maia and Luke depend on this mission going well. More importantly, Simon is counting on him. In front of him, Maia moves slowly along the corridor. She’s human-shaped but she is moving like a wolf tracking so when she abruptly stops, Alec immediately pulls out a _sereph_ blade and cocks his head, listening.

‘We’re close,’ she says.

Alec nods wordlessly and follows her up a narrow set of stairs that make his skin crawl. He can’t tell if it’s the claustrophobia or something else that is making his stomach turn but he can’t wait to get out in the open. When they finally reach the top of the stairs, there is a room made of windows and in the middle is a coffin made of stone. Raphael must be inside, though Alec can’t hear him.

‘No curtains,’ Maia growls, stalking around the stone box. ‘Not that that would help much.’

Alec racks his brain, ‘Can we wrap him in something else? Or shield him somehow?’

‘The light will burn right through fabric,’ she says tightly. Alec can tell that she’s impatient with his ignorance and frustrated with the whole situation.

‘We can’t wait for nightfall,” he says. 'What else? There has to be something.'

Maia closes her eyes and grits her teeth. ‘What if we use the stone to block the light somehow?’

Alec frowns, ‘I could use my _strength_ rune to hold the cover and then you could get him to the stairs?’

‘Is there something we can cover him with too?’ she asks. ‘He’s probably gonna get burned.’

Alec shrugs off his shirt, ‘This will at least take care of his face.’

Maia frowns and unbuttons her own shirt. ‘Two layers is better than none.’

Outside the windows, Alec catches sight of movement in the window across from them. Must be vamps. ‘We need to get going.’

She nods. ‘Couldn’t agree more Lightwood. Let’s get this over with.’

The move into position and Alec holds his stele over the rune. ‘We have 30 seconds max. Probably less. I was injured and I only slept for an hour. It’ll burn out fast.’

‘If we take longer than that, Raf is gonna be extra crispy,’ she quips. ‘I only need 10 seconds.’

He nods, activates the rune, and lifts the cover. The vampire inside lets out a horrible strangled cry and Alec catches a glimpse of blood and bruises. Maia growls, bundles the shirts over Raphael and begins to move. Alec can feel the weight of the stone cover beginning to overwhelm him. Raphael is making an awful sound somewhere between a scream and a moan. 5 more seconds. Light flares behind Alec and he turns instinctively. The back of the hotel is on fire, exploding outward towards them.

‘Maia go!’ he screams.

He drops the stone. The blast hits before he can do anything else, showering him with glass and sending him careening across the room. Thankfully, he hits the wall near the stairs, close to Maia and Raphael who were thrown part way down the stairs. The heat hits next spurring Alec to stand. Below him, Maia staggers to her feet. Raphael is still slung over her shoulders, now unmoving and silent. There’s glass in Maia’s hair and her forehead is bleeding. Alec stumbles, sliding down three steps before he’s able to catch himself on the wall. His ears are ringing miserably but he gestures to Maia that they need to move. She’s wobbly on her feet but she keeps moving until they hit a room with a thick Turkish rug and a heavy wooden door which Alec yanks shut behind him, plunging the three of them into darkness. Then he pulls out his miraculously unbroken _stele_ , activates his _voyance_ and _iratze_ , and crawls over to Maia and Raphael.  

‘What a shit show?’ says Maia. Her voice is far too loud, even for Alec’s traumatized ears and he guesses that she still can’t hear well. He holds a finger to his lips and she nods frowning.

‘Can you hear me?’ he asks as loudly as he dares.

She shakes her head and he can see a brief flash of panic flare in her eyes before she locks it down. Raphael still hasn’t moved. Alec takes two fingers and presses them to his own neck, then points at the still vampire.

Maia lets out a rasping laugh. ‘I’d be more worried if he had a pulse. He’ll heal, I think.’

Alec mimes shaking the vampire awake.

‘Be my guest,’ she says. ‘But don’t come crying to me if he bites you.’

‘Ha ha,’ says Alec slowly enough that she’ll be able to read his lips. ‘Very funny.’

Maia flips him off. Alec ignores her and shakes Raphael’s arm with one hand while holding his other arm protectively out in front of himself. The vampire doesn’t so much as twitch.

Maia looks concerned and peels away the shirts. Alec gasps. There are angry red burns over most of Raphael’s exposed skin and underneath that are mottled purple bruises.

‘Oh fuck that looks bad,’ Maia says, which is when the door behind her explodes into splinters. She doesn’t miss a beat, her claws slashing at the attacking vampires before Alec can fully get his blades up.

‘Lightwood protect Raf!’ she yells, still too loud. ‘I’ve got these idiots.’

Alec nods and drags Raphael behind a musty smelling sofa as carefully as he can given the circumstances. Behind the sofa, Alec has a moment to analyze the situation. There are four vampires. Maia is holding her own for now but that isn’t going to last. She’s exhausted and he knows that she’s more injured than she’s let on. They need to get out of here soon or they aren’t going to get out at all.

One vamp, a woman with dirty blonde hair, goes for Maia’s neck from behind and Maia freezes, just for a beat but it’s long enough. She hits the blonde woman hard enough to send her across the room but the other vamps gets his fangs into her arm and she staggers.

‘Maia!’ Alec jumps to his feet and beheads the vampire biting her wrist. She sags against him, blood running freely down her arm.

‘I had him!’

‘I’m sure you did,’ says Alec, and he means it. ‘But forgive me if I didn’t feel like watching you bleed all over the carpet like an all-you-can-eat buffet.’ He jumps out of the way of another attack.

Maia rallies with effort. ‘We need to get out of here,’ she yells slashing wildly at one of the remaining two vampires.

‘Couldn’t have said it better myself,’ quips Alec. ‘Any suggestions?’

‘Just like a shadowhunter to make a downworlder do all the hard work,’ she teases.

‘Glad I live up to the name,’ says Alec. He frowns at her wrist. She’s losing way too much blood. They need to stop the bleeding. He risks snatching up the fallen shirts to thrust at her.

‘Just what I always wanted,’ she says. ‘You got this?’

‘As if you had to ask,’ says Alec. He steps in front of her and whips his knives into a defensive  sequence Hodge would slap him for. It’s fancy and overly taxing but Alec’s counting on the two vamps— clearly inexperienced fighters, they were probably mundanes a month ago— being too intimidated to attack. His gamble pays off and buys them a few seconds of peace as a vamps hiss and confer among themselves.

By the time Maia has a shirt tied around her arm tightly enough to stop the flow of blood, Alec can feel himself tiring.

‘Tag, I’m it!’ she says, voice stronger than before. ‘Go check the door we came through?’

Alec nods and let’s her take over guarding. The vamps go straight for her. He almost laughs because they’ve clearly pegged Maia as the weak link and they’re about to pay for it. He refreshes his runes on his way across the room. They’re running out too fast. He’s got maybe one more round before he’s tapped out. No time to waste then. He yanks the door open and the heat hits him like a physical object.

‘Hellfire!,’ he gasps out forcing the door closed against the immense force pressing against him.

‘Fuck,’ snaps Maia. ‘That bitch is crazy!’

He makes his way over to her. The door the vamps came through it their only way out and they both know it. Plan B then; he meets her eyes for a moment and glances at the door. She nods.

‘You got Raphael?’ Alec asks quietly.

‘Ready when you are,’ she answers.

‘I’m not dying for a vamp,’ he yells. He tries to sound angry but it comes out more like he has a cold. The vampires look up from their little huddle and smirk.

‘Typical shadowhunter,’ snarls Maia. She sounds ready to rip his throat out and he takes a moment to be grateful that she’s just acting.

‘This isn’t worth my life,’ Alec says. ‘Good luck wolf.’

‘You little—’ Maia lunges for him. Right before she connects, Alec activates his glamour and steps to the side. The vampires gasp as Alec vanishes. Maia retreats behind the couch where Raphael is lying and makes a good effort of pretending to cry.

‘No one to save you now she-wolf,’ says the taller vamp.

Maia covers a snort with more fake sobs. “Raf, Raf, wake up! I need you!’

The shorter vampire, a stocky man with wild brown hair, begins to cackle like a villain in a storybook. Alec beheads him.

‘Wilson get—’ the second vamp never finishes his sentence, beheaded like his partner.

Maia staggers back to her feet with Raphael over one shoulder. ‘I can’t believe they fell for that! You’re a terrible actor Lightwood.’

‘Let’s just get out of here while we still can,’ says Alec. Maia’s starting to bleed through her makeshift bandages and he feels like he could collapse at any moment.

Thankfully, they don’t encounter anyone else as they stagger towards the courtyard. Alec can just make out some hazy stars through the open door when Maia stumbles and Raphael groans. Alec slowly backs up to her without taking his eyes off the door.

‘He’s waking up,’ Maia says. ‘Raf can you hear me?’

Raphael lets out another agonised groan. ‘Nephilim.’

‘Magnus brought him,’ she says. ‘He’s okay.’

‘That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me,’ says Alec

‘Shut up Lightwood.’ She stands. ‘Raf, we’re almost to the courtyard. Alec’s going to help. Is that okay?’

Raphael says something that Alec can’t make out and Maia whispers back heatedly until Raphael finally cracks one swollen eye and says, ‘No funny business shadowhunter.’

Alec offers an arm instead of answering and the three of them half run, half stumble the remaining twenty yards to the courtyard.

‘Holy shit!’ Maia exclaims.

Half of the hotel is in flames which show no sign of slowing down. If anything they’re spreading.

‘Camille, what did you do?’ whispers Raphael.

‘We need to find Magnus and Luke and get out of here,’ says Alec. ‘Raphael do you know where she was keeping Simon?’

Raphael doesn’t answer, seemingly entranced by the flames.

‘What did she do with the bookseller?’ Maia demands. ‘We need to go.’

The vampire makes a wounded sound that has nothing to do with his injuries. Alec’s heart stutters in his chest. Before he can summon up the courage to ask for the answer he doesn’t want to hear, a bone-shaking howl splits the night. Alec freezes and Maia falls. 

‘Luke,’ she says sweating with the effort of fighting an instinctual change.

The sound pull Raphael out of his reverie. Without turning from the flames he says flatly, ‘Simon Lewis is dead.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cackles*
> 
> Someday I'll stop ending on semi-cliffhangers but this is not that day!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


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